Whose ‘Dead’ – line is it?

by Sandra Williamson, Hairdresser, Brisbane

A friend was feeling a lot of pressure the other day to complete some very big things on time. So the question was asked, “Are you feeling the pressure of a deadline”? – with the response being “Yes”. My next question was, “Whose deadline is it”?

The next moment we both came to the awareness that by the way she was feeling, it could well be her ‘DEAD – line’.

A little exaggeration, but also true.

We could both sense what she was putting herself through to accomplish all that was needed; and if she just pushed through, well when it was done, she could then come back to caring for herself properly.

How many times, in big and small ways, have I put myself second or third to the ‘things’ around me that need attention?

A few days later I was chatting to another friend who had a very big work Dead – line, and the “Whose Dead – line?” question was again raised.

As she was leaving, we chatted about regularly taking a 5-minute breather from the computer, and not being so overwhelmed by what’s in front of you that you don’t even go to the toilet when needed. She nodded, saying she knew that experience.

By the great, interesting, and on occasions a little personally challenging (to me) presentations offered by Serge Benhayon, some of the most seemingly simple but significant things that we put ourselves through have a new light cast upon them.

Like in my case, being so absorbed in work overwhelm that I wouldn’t take a break… not even to pee. And now I know I’m not the only one who has been caught by that experience. But I won’t be again. I know no matter what is going on, I’ll be able to look after what I need and support myself through a pressure time.

No matter who is running the Dead – line I know it won’t be me DEAD on time.

189 thoughts on “Whose ‘Dead’ – line is it?

  1. A simple yet profound message to keep connected to the body so that we recognise the signals when it alerts us to its need for rest breaks, loo breaks, stretch breaks and general TLC, especially during intensive work periods.

  2. I know there are so many things we do, that, in our minds we think – after this is done I will take care of myself. When does this caring life start if not at this moment? So many live like this and so many, when they stop working, get sick. This should be a huge warning sign, siren, red flag, yet it is treated as a normal occurrence. There’s that old joke – death is natures way of telling us to slow down. Not so funny when it’s true.

  3. Looking at everything that has gone before the moment where I am feeling under pressure has meant being honest with myself. Sometimes I have gotten caught up in a ‘distraction’ or moment of avoidance that has then flowed on to what I have in place to complete. Taking responsibility for the choices I have been making changes my ‘Dead-line’ experiences. Living connected to what is true asks of me to be honest and to bring this honesty to how I live my life – the questions of ‘whose dead-line?’ is a great question.

  4. Computers make it possible for us to complete written tasks much more quickly but have we become slaves to the computer technology and allowed ourselves to be forced into ever greater tension by ‘deadlines’? We create our own tension and exhaustion with deadlines.

  5. Anxiousness and haste are most definitely insidious in our society, they have snuck into our very marrow and it does take a constant commitment and reconfiguring of our approach to life to start to let go of these modern day plagues.

  6. “….being so absorbed in work overwhelm that I wouldn’t take a break… not even to pee.” Yet this is so common, as you say. Nurses in the NHS work 12 hour shifts and some don’t take/ have the time to pee, drink some water or even have time to eat on some of their shifts. In a caring profession, where is the self-care?

  7. Finding our own true rhythm is absolutely essential as a foundation for a harmonious life… And this is what Universal Medicine continually presents the opportunity to build a strong foundation within oneself.

  8. In observing someone like Serge and Natalie Benhayon, I get a sense that there is a way to be VERY productive, and that doesn’t have to involve any sense of anxiety, overwhelm or hastiness. There is a way to be with time while not letting it be a bully we often allow it to be.

  9. An enormous percentage of the workforce is very stressed all the time… They really are working to dead-lines… And it shows in the number of sick days that are being taken off work around the world… there really is whole new paradigms needed in the workplace.

  10. Sandra, from my experience the tension I feel in my body around deadlines and expectations comes completely from my choice. A deadline may well be presented in our lives, but how we be with ourselves while we negotiate it is everything. A learning that I have come to is when I surrender and accept how things and people are, and that I have a job to do, with in a time frame, then I can negotiate this time frame and complete the job with ease.

  11. Allowing ourselves to be overtaken by deadlines means that we compartmentalise our lives and put ourselves on the back burner but when we are able to stay present and feel what is next to do we can support ourselves to bring self-care into the equation and build a solid foundation with which to undertake all the tasks we need to in a day not placing greater emphasis on the ones that others are trying to impose on us or that we are imposing on ourselves at the expense of our own well-being. A great learning for me that is still unfolding.

  12. Everyone appears to be running to dead- lines now a days….. from young children having the pressure of dead-lines placed upon them to complete their course work, with this pressure continuing into adulthood and throughout our working lives, and also very often continuing into the retirement years, where some of the elderly place dead-lines upon themselves. It would be lovely if our children were allowed to have an unpressured childhood this may go a long way to eliminating the dead-line craziness which plagues our society today.

  13. Quite often we get caught up in life and do not stop until our bodies gives us the signal that it’s time for a breather. Maybe it’s because we don’t know any other way. I know I get caught up in this often but I also know that if I take the time to really look after myself there is another way to be IN time so that time feels totally different. It’s like playing a game where in one version you are being played by the game and in the other version you are the one setting the rules.

  14. Thank God breathing is a natural process that we can’t control – imagine if we put breathing on hold until we finished our ‘urgent’ project!

  15. Very funny and true Sandra. But also sad that our care for ourselves became so low that we even don’t give ourselves the time to go to the toilet. What About the other signals then the body gives us? What we do with them? Also denying them. And then we are surprised we get ill and that disease and illnesses are increasing fast. I also was a person who did not even give myself time for toilet. That is so much changed now. IT is me first and from there I can be there for others and for the company. This is the only way to built a healthy business.

  16. I have many pressing deadlines to meet at the moment. It’s been great to read your blog again Sandra and remind myself that my self care should not be sacrificed just because I am busy.

  17. As someone who works a day based around appointments and timelines all the way I really understand the challenges referred to here. I know how lovely it is when I have a string of things to get done but can work to my own times and not the appointment structure too. The art I find is to appreciate the spaciousness of the segments of my day as gifts to work with, though I don’t always manage it I know.

  18. That’s the problem when we walk and think only in a straight line, there is no space for considering that there is another way. There’s not even the space to pee when you need to.

  19. I love your lighthearted approach to the ‘deadline’ and how we can let this pressure overwhelm us and leave us completely ignoring our bodies. I have a deadline with an assignment due on Friday and because of my work commitments etc it is difficult for me to complete it on time, asking for an extension felt empowering as I was allowing myself the space and grace to complete this without going into overwhelm and feeling I have to be a wonder-woman.

  20. Reading this puts things into perspective. Caring for ourselves, day to day is very simple, being organized, having foods prepared and attending to our body’s physical needs. So simple that I find myself pondering on how difficult and complicated I can make these things especially if a time frame is feeling like a pressure.

  21. I have had lots of conflicting deadlines recently and the reality is I have not been able to meet them all. In the past I would have tried to, but to the detriment of my health, or I would have felt guilty and bad about not achieving the impossible, and that causes stress on the body. These days I make sure I communicate with those that are expecting work from me and discuss a way forward. I know that when I let my self-care slip, I am vulnerable to illness and then nothing gets done.

  22. Being consumed by one aspect of life allows all the other parts to drop in quality. So then, what are we actually bringing to the one consuming aspect? Learning that everything is of equal importance and requires a quality of who I am in it makes life one and whole.

  23. it may well have been said in jest Or in passing, however a truer word could never be spoken as it is most definitely for millions of people stressing themselves out around the world a dead line.

  24. Our bodies are such brilliant guides to knowing exactly what the next moment requires. The more I honour and listen to it’s messages, signals and impulses the simpler life becomes with flowing into exactly what is required. I know I can’t plan and create in my mind at the level my body intuitively knows. Taking rest breaks etc. is an essential part of this mix.

  25. Hilarious but true sentence of a title.. Simply because it reveals truth – it reveals that we have chosen to hide, and it brings us back to how words can actually show us the truth back again!

  26. This made me squirm “…and if she just pushed through, well when it was done, she could then come back to caring for herself properly.” as I have been doing this on and off for months now ever since we had less staff at work… just get through the day, week or rest of the year and then I will rest and look after myself. This has definitely caught up with me though with getting sick and having pain in my back.

    1. I too have been pushing through with the promise of a break at the end of the day, or week or month even. My body is shouting out loudly and clearly that this isn’t working. Time to put my self care at the top of my priority list.

  27. Without our presence at hand we forgo our Soulfulness, and are instead moved by another quality that willingly disregards the body, to reach the mark it thinks will deliver some sort of satisfaction, accomplishment or recognition.

  28. Haha love it Sandra! A humourous way to look at a potentially serious stress to the body. Another way to look at deadline is – joining the line of the living dead who make it their/our business to be in the race against time as if time is in a race with us and really wants to beat us. Or turning up dead on arrival with the rushed report/program/project in hand. Once we leave ourselves behind we are after all nothing but an empty shell.

  29. I liked the last line, it made me chuckle thank you Sandra, so many ways we could be dead on line or dead on time. To make sure we don’t leave ourselves behind just for the sake of a deadline we can stop in our busyness and take a moment to come back to our bodies, letting go of the tension of the deadline.

  30. It is ridiculous the pressure we can put ourselves under to complete something by a certain time at a huge expense to our body and the quality in which we do things in. It is great to have the awareness of the harm of such choices and be able to stop and come back to ourselves recognizing the importance of self care within anything we do. Putting our bodies and our selves aside for a deadline can cause significant harm not worth the disregard we choose to get it done on time.

  31. This is great, we know all so well that stressing before deadlines brings nothing more than exhaustion and a way of disregard we say we leave when we are after the deadline. But in my experience we so often don’t, it can be such a drain that it is not easy to get out of it. The best way to work with an end goal is making a proper plan knowing that we can do what is needed in the time frame we have, and that’s it.

  32. Having self care, self love and self nurturing as our foundation in life will allow us to reach our so called deadlines with more ease and grace.

  33. Does our modern day lineal way of living and thinking have us merely going around in circles until we realise that there is another way?

  34. Imposing time constraints on ourselves can be a distraction when we are so preoccupied with ‘getting it done on time’ that we do not focus on the task so it takes much longer to complete.

  35. A ‘dead-line’ asks for a narrow focus often to the exclusion of other aspects of life. The awareness of breath even gets compromised when too intent on a task.

  36. I am seeing how my own deadlines are very unrealistic and set me up to be disappointed even before the day has begun. I’m going to start by not setting the alarm tonight and not having a list of things to-do tomorrow. That feels great already.

  37. Working as a teacher I know this one so well. I start of the term with good intentions but a few weeks in that goes out the window and then I find I can often let the small things slip- like going for a walk, holding more presence not rushing etc. When I go into this by the time it gets to the end of the term, I am exhausted. Now when I feel I am going into this I like to take more time to stop and find my pace, my rhythm and make sure my head is not running 100 steps in front of my body.

  38. I know in the past I used to create lots of ‘deadlines’ for myself, and then I would leave everything till the last minute and run around in a frantic way, I seemed to thrive on the drama and the stimulation of this, it’s a very exhausting way to live and my nervous system was certainly affected by this. Thankfully I don’t live like this anymore but on occasions when I feel this pressure and rush energy I take a moment to stop and connect with my body and to be more present with all my movements.

  39. I have noticed when I work under overwhelm/frustration/anxiety to complete a task while neglecting my own body, it really affects others as I obviously would have no capacity to connect with them and should they dare interrupt or interfere, I would experience them as a kind of hindrance and people around me can already feel that.

  40. This is a great blog, recently I realised I have been rushing through my life and the question came to me, who’s life am I living if I don’t even have time to live it? I am constantly trying to live up to deadlines and it is literally killing me, this is another great reminder to chill out.

  41. A great reminder how when we push ourselves to get over the line in time, we are actually killing ourselves, nothing is worth compromising our body over and it is actually the quality that counts it is not about the rush, because that compromises the quality of the work and ourselves too.

  42. We have been taught over and over to place so many things before ourselves and to achieve even at the expense of ourselves. But, we are missing out on the fact we are so much more than getting something from start to completion, from moving from A – B, or any other task. We are multidimensional beings, but we are taught to neglect our being for the sake of “doing”, and we are missing out on experiencing so many amazing things about ourselves by living in such a reduced way

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