Practice makes progress

by Joel L, Western Australia

Bob was asked to play football with his kids; he thought it would be easy because he used to be pretty good at it. To his surprise, it was harder than he thought. Those skills of yesterday were not as available because he hadn’t used them in such a long time. So he gets grumpy with his son, not wanting to admit he has lost something.

Mary was helping her child with some math homework; she thought it would be easy because she used to be pretty good at it. To her surprise, it was harder than she thought, as she hadn’t used that knowledge in such a long time. So she finds a reason not to help out, because she’s ‘just too busy’ with other things, not wanting to admit she has lost something.

A country needed some help with its growing rates of diabetes; the experts thought it would be easy to get people to change how they live, as the evidence and the need was so strong. To their surprise, it was harder than they thought, as many in the community hadn’t chosen a healthier way of living for such a long time. So they commissioned more research to confirm what was known centuries ago, not wanting to admit they had lost something.

Humanity is crying out for people to be more loving to each other; some think it is easy, but to their surprise it is harder than they think, as we haven’t chosen a more loving way of living for such a long time. So we get grumpy, get busy, get obsessed with research that will give us the answer or tell us who to blame, all so we don’t have to admit we have lost something.

The good news is …  love, like everything else, is never lost, just not practised.

727 thoughts on “Practice makes progress

  1. ‘Love is never lost – just not practiced’. And may I add that we have allowed it to be hijacked by business and then are afraid of claiming it back?! We have such a warped picture of love now that we don’t see it as who we are, where we are from and what we are made of.

  2. Sometimes our pride can get in the way also, as we don’t like to embrace the honesty needed to admit what we have chosen and move on, our pride can make us stubborn and cling onto unhelpful ways and behaviours. Honesty is though very beautiful, it can help us simply be where we are at and then move on. What’s waiting is the love we are – so worth dropping our pride for.

  3. We are so good at justifying why we would not commit and even are prepared to settle for something much much less than what we could easily have if only we could allow a bit of humility.

  4. We cannot turn our lives around over night, it has to be a committed and gradual process of bringing more love to our lives by practising connecting to it and expressing it out to others.

  5. There’s a part of us that is too proud to admit that it is not the love that it originally is and can be seen at the very start of human life in newborns. We learn to do life but we trade our essence to do so until we admit that we chose such a trade that ends up failing us. I’m learning more and more to not defend that pride-full part and admit my imperfections. Makes life far less tense.

  6. “love, like everything else, is never lost, just not practised.” The magic of love is that the more loving we are with ourselves and with others the more love there is for all.

  7. It is amazing how many excuses we come up with to avoid something that seems initially harder than we had anticipated.

  8. Yes, a great point, it takes dedication and willingness to be love. We think we fall in and out of love, in other words, that we are not the master of our own loving ways and yet it is an everyday choice to live the love that we know or not.

    1. Yes and when we have a disagreement, it is easy to walk away (or perhaps run away), easy to dig your heals in on the right and wrong spectrum, and to doggedly hold your ground. None of those behaviours practice Love though, because they all need a winner and a loser. Love is actually responsible, accountable and knows that we have a choice in every moment to deepen our understanding in relationships and see what momentums have contributed to the disagreement in front of us, or simply stick out head in the sand.

  9. I agree with you that we are obsessed with research that will give us the answer or tell us who to blame.
    Unfortunately research today is often biased because the funding for the research usually comes from those corporations that have a vested interest in making sure that the results match the companies’ objectives. I remember years ago the ‘scientists’ researched the effects of sugar in our diets and said it was good for us and then it was revealed that the sugar industry back the scientists who did the research! Now we all know sugar is a harmful substance as it changes the chemicals in the brain so that it can become addictive. So what’s the use of science if it is so corrupted that we cannot rely on the research data?

  10. Fortunately we can never loose something that we are. But we can let layers of hurt from lifetimes build up so much that we loose the connection to that which we are and therefore see the world through the lease of all that hurt. But who we are is never lost.

  11. This applies on every level – love for ourselves, for one another, for humanity as a whole.. is never lost, just perhaps buried under the rubble of our industrial scale of busyness and distractions. But it is what underlies everything, and eventually, it all comes back to love.

  12. When we begin to take those first steps back to love, sometimes we have to walk back through those choices we have made that were not love. But this in itself is love.

  13. Joel what a wonderful blog and yes I agree love is not lost as it is something what everyone of us hold deep inside and we can find it if we allow ourselves to look in someone’s eyes who fell in love or become a parent or just enjoy their living.

  14. I used to think that Love was not available to me because I was not worthy or a good enough person but how wrong was I. It was just that I hadn’t practised it for a while.

  15. We have lived so many life’s from the truth of who we truly are and where we originate from that when someone comes along to remind us all of our heritage we call them a liar and condemn them. How lost are we.

  16. Love can be there any moment. Just imagine you will not see a close friend anymore after today because they will die or so. Then you can open your heart fast without any effort. Love is always available.

  17. When I have taken myself far away from love, and I choose to return, it is always there. Patiently waiting there for me to return to. Interestingly I got distracted half way through this comment (taking myself away from love), and then I remembered to return to the comment, and here it is, patiently waiting for me. Classic life moment.

  18. It seems that our unwillingness to be honest with how we feel within ourselves and within our bodies offers us a convenient excuse to not take responsibility for our choices and instead we blame something or someone else for our short comings. Ignorance is bliss and yet bliss is an illusory state of being.

  19. The avoidance of admitting we have lost a way of being we once knew so well is vast and very creative! Why not admit we have lost something we once intimately knew and humbly and lovingly say it’s time to return?

    1. Yes that would cut out so much delay. Perhaps the first step is allowing the possibility that we have lost something and got completely used to thinking we don’t need it. That may well release the potential to see hear and feel what we might be listening to rather than all of those messages be buffered back onto someone else as ‘their issue’.

  20. This is such a gorgeous reminder, and I know how I have pretended that I had never had it in the first place and said ‘This isn’t for me’. Such a cop-out.

  21. “Living in a loving way” is not something we have to try to do, try to learn, it is simply something we all know in every particle of our being, a way that is absolutely natural to us, a way that never leaves us. It is always just one loving choice away.

  22. Joel I love this, what you write is so true “The good news is … love, like everything else, is never lost, just not practised.”
    What a great confirmation that all is not lost – even if sometimes we look around and it looks like it!

  23. Practising love is so foreign to us, and yet it is there to be developed within, no practise needed, just a developing connection to be nurtured and honoured.

    1. Yes very true Heather – it is only our willingness to surrender to being the love of who we are, who we all are, that we embrace responsibility and live for us all, or our willful resistance to it.

  24. The more we withdraw or turn a blind eye when things get hard the less likely it will ever be sorted. We cannot ignore or give up on sorting and resolving the challenges of human life for the integrity of our collective future is founded on this.

  25. Love is never lost and even when we may think it is, the invitation is always there to be it again in that moment … that all we need to do, keep coming back to it.

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