Men: what mess are we truly in?

by Lee Green, Perth, Australia

In a recent article in the Brisbane Courier Mail New age ‘medicine’ of Serge Benhayon leaves trail of broken families” written by Josh Robertson and Liam Walsh, there were a couple of references about women which on first reading I thought nothing of: “… which has 2000 mainly female followers”; “After breast massage, clients are told to use Universal Medicine cream to deter bad energy, and to not allow their partners to touch them without permission”. In all honesty I can say that it did not stir anything in me, it was like I could see the words and yet nothing moved.

Yes, I can admit that on first read it was like the lines were glossed out, foggy, I could not see the ‘truth for the lies’, so to speak. I then read more of the responses from others, all women with the same strong message that this was not acceptable and a denigration of women. I felt uncomfortable, awkward and part of something much bigger and more subtle than I could imagine.

I was then able to comment on the articles because I too could feel the harm, but not truly how menacing the words were. I asked the questions as much for myself as for others to ponder.

I went back to the original article and realised – actually baulked at the inference that women were somehow stupid and docile, like sheep who followed under the orders of a man’s wish. To me this displays an arrogance where women are regarded as secondary, without respect for what they choose; that they have rights; that they are our equals.

It was then that the depth of this started to unravel. Yes I was squirming, yes I got angry, and sad, and really did not know what to do with what I was feeling.

Had I been part of this for so very long? Was I party to it? Was I in my own way responsible too for the way that a woman is viewed, treated and lived with? The resounding YES reverberated around my body and I felt stunned, shocked and deeply upset.

I recognise that there is a lot worse behaviour out there in the world, but I have to admit that I too have been held by beliefs and ideals that put a woman second. The abuse you see here demonstrated is much more subtle and more refined than we really know. I have protested, mostly silently, that the washing is not my job. I have, like many others, chosen to hide in work to escape a share in the household chores. I have gotten angry and used my voice and physical presence to dominate and show force to get what I want. I have made it all about me – ‘I am the man’, ‘I am the most important’, ‘I bring home the bacon’.

Men: what mess are we truly in?

The way that men have treated women with utter disdain and disregard has been evident over centuries. It continues in all societies – even with the more recent “equality”. For a long time women were not eligible to vote, a ‘fight’ for equality was sought, and was one that resulted in a ‘victory’. But is it possible that in such an event, the control was always ever with the men? That there was an unconscious intention to bring about a challenge by women, resulting in women further succumbing to the wills of men; that they may be brought into the male world where you get what you fight for?

How utterly miserable that we as men have allowed such degrading of women the world over and that this continues unchecked, without remorse or a STOP.

Is it possible that in order to ‘play ball’ we allow women some surface freedom, but really deeply control them by the many beliefs that we subscribe to, including the ‘fact’ that men are ‘in charge, in control’.

The home I grew up in was one of those see-saw homes. One minute the sun was shining and you were soaring high into the clouds full of joy, laughing and loving everything – the next plunged into the shadows where reality struck hard and fast and made you cry for hours: domestic violence. For those that have experienced it first hand it is a ‘living hell’. Frightening and fearful it tears at every living membrane, terrifying every moment. As children you huddle together knowing deeply what is happening… but completely powerless. My father drank and abused alcohol. The punching and screaming was deafening and yet nothing was ever done to stop this. He was the man ‘in charge’, ‘in control’, ‘the provider’, ‘the breadwinner’. Neighbours would support through the bad times, until the sun started appearing through the clouds again and things felt settled, a little calmer. And then it would happen again. And it always did.

How is it possible that a whole extended family, neighbours and friends would never intervene?

How is it possible that the law would not pull this man aside and put an end to all that was done?

How is it possible that society turned a blind eye?

“…the man knows how to run his house…as long as he didn’t hurt her too much or kill her it will sort itself out…”

When my father beat my mother it was not one man against one woman. It was in fact the ‘whole of man’ forcefully seeking control over the ‘whole of women’.

Startling statistics exist on domestic violence and yet what appears to be happening is even more dangerous… the media are denigrating women everywhere with their insufficient research and sensationalist angles. In a recent topic paper published by the Australian Domestic and Family Violence Clearinghouse, titled ‘Australian Statistics on Domestic Violence’1, the following statistics were reported:

*23% of women who had ever been married or in a de-facto relationship, experienced violence by a partner at some time during the relationship.

42% of women who had been in a previous relationship reported violence by a previous partner.

Half of women, 1 in 2 experiencing violence by their current partner experienced more than one incident of violence. Injuries sustained were mainly bruises, cuts, and scratches, but also included stab or gunshot wounds, and other injuries.

12% of women who reported violence by their current partner at some stage during the relationship, said they were currently living in fear.

The above data cannot reflect the true picture of women’s experiences of domestic and family violence as it does not record other forms of abuse; emotional, social and financial etc. that often occur alongside the violence.

Denigrating women through words, as those seen in the Courier Mail article, cements certain beliefs that support physical and mental abuse against women; i.e., ‘what do they know’? It is not a big jump to domestic violence.

So what message gets passed on, and what does society allow when it says nothing – allows, then turns its ‘proverbial back’? ‘That it is fine… really, they are only women.’ It is appalling that the abuse continues at this level, and even more appalling is that it is not checked on any level. Now it seems that the media is happy to weigh in with their throwaway comments. IT IS NOT INNOCENT.

There is a line here that has been stood on for centuries, that is still being abused everywhere, even now in the western ‘more civilised’ nations it is very subtle and has far reaching effects. Is it possible that ‘the media’ no longer recognises that there is an equality of man and woman? That for all the words and hat-tipping to the ‘women’ it is just that, a show, a ruse with dire consequences that women have borne the brunt of for ages. The beliefs and ideals that have been so deftly hidden and tucked away are now spilling out for all to see and read.

What have we allowed into a world that ‘pretends’ at being equal?

Is it possible that as men we have a responsibility in everything that we do, write, say, touch, think?

Is it possible that when we are angry at the women we live with, that we are expressing anger towards all women?

Is it possible that fueling the abuse against women everywhere is that expressed anger and frustration?

I know for a fact I am not responsible for all of the abuse against women. Yet as a man I am learning that every action has a consequence. I just did not realise how big until today. It has gone unchecked for so long in our world it is time that we as men all stepped up and faced the truth that we are so far away from. Stop, take stock and start to walk back toward it.

References:

1 – Australian Domestic and Family Violence Clearinghouse Topic Paper:

Australian Statistics on Domestic Violence; http://www.adfvc.unsw.edu.au/topic_papers.htm

274 thoughts on “Men: what mess are we truly in?

  1. Thanks Lee, it is true that we as men, myself included, we can read something like that Courier Mail article and not feel the depth of the injustices faced by women. Still today in certain countries, women are openly treated like second rate citizens and here we think we are so much more civilised about it, maybe the truth is that those countries are more honest than us. We do not relate the more subtle forms of abuse that are most common, as you write, they don’t make the statistics. As I write, I can feel that my respect of women can deepen in understanding and though it has changed a lot, there is more to go.

  2. Lee- thank you a thousand times over. I had not realised how much I needed to hear a man express these things until I read your article. I had not realised how much hurt I was carrying around this matter of “false equality” until your article. So again, thank you for this huge contribution to truly redressing the imbalance that exists between men and women in this world, and for me personally also.

    1. I second everything that you have written coleen24. As I read this amazing piece I could feel so many emotions rising from the depths of me; feelings of powerlessness, of inequality, of feeling second best and many more I didn’t realise I was still holding on to. And like you the appreciation I have for what Lee has shared and has exposed is immense.

    2. I could not agree more Coleen and Ingrid. I can also feel a great sadness for allowing and accepting a whole range of behaviours. If we as women do not speak up and express these how are men to understand the preciousness of a woman and therefore their own tenderness expressing as a man. This blog is huge. A must read, in fact it should be front page news reading.

  3. Lee thank you for actually stating so clearly what you did wrong. For women this never happens, there is such a dishonesty in abuse and the blame that happens is there so that the woman is again subjugated to feeling responsible. For abuse against women to change men need to change. It’s brilliant to read of a man willing and humble enough to see the game society plays and that he has joined this but can now see the inequality and say “No”. When a man makes a commitment to love and to rid himself of the abuse against women in all its subtleties I feel the deep nurturing that’s experienced from feeling safe and also nurtured by the true beauty and essence of a true man in expression in life.

    1. Melinda I also feel there is a responsibility as well for us as women and for me it stems from my own lack of self-worth and the behaviour that I have allowed too. When men do not feel held in the exquisite beauty that is a woman, where do they go to? Very true there is a high level of violence and abuse against women which absolutely needs to be addressed. But the responsibility belongs to all equally in how it each plays out for us in our own lives and bringing a more harmonious way to that. I agree there is nothing like feeling the beauty of a man in true expression, this is only equalled by that of a woman’s.

      1. I totally agree Jennifer and there have been many instances in my life where I have accepted abuse as my ‘normal’ through a huge lack of self-worth and self-loathing. Healing my hurts as they arise in me is revealing how deeply sacred I am as a woman and now i’m calling the abuse that may come as I see it and feel it.

  4. Lee, your brilliant blog has brought me to another point. We feel at times helpless to change the pervasive extent of this kind of gender based abuse, and may even feel it is too powerful to take on. But what if there was something much more powerful than an abusive man, and that is the man committed to love as you have, committed to living the true essence of what men truly are? I feel this is much more powerful, inspiring and reminding men and boys of how far they have stepped away from who they are, and how simple the steps are back to themselves. At the moment the news is littered with abusive men, and men abusing their power, but we need men like you in the limelight Lee. Men have lost sight of their true nature and they need powerful role models to bring them back.

    1. I agree Melinda Knights, men need true role models to step out and be the way showers for them so they too can walk in their true light as the amazingly tender and loving beings that they are. It’s awesome that you speak up in this way Lee, and bring light to a very old way of being that is not love for women, themselves, or humanity.

    2. Here here Melinda. When we see men such as Lee in the news as the ‘norm’ then the ‘norm’ as we see it will have shifted.

  5. Great article Lee and yes we have all been a part of this, all men and all women too, because we have all allowed it to be like this, a battle for control over each other rather than making it about love.

    1. So true, Doug. This constant fight for control that we fight against each other out of our own insecurity and our refusal to lead a responsible life is just absurd.
      Changing this starts with changing our own lives, becomng fully honest with what we are up to and from there take our responsibility and make choices that are loving of ourselves.
      Then a life that is loving and caring instead of attempting to control will naturally unfold itself.

      1. Beautifully put Michael, you are right it all comes back to choosing to live more responsibly and to making loving choices in every situation. This attempting to control each other is a very ugly thing and we know that God never does anything to control us, so the controlling must come from that which is not God.

      2. So true Michael. True change in our life can only come when we take an honest look at ourselves and how we are living. I have learned that when I take responsibility for my life and feel the choices I have made and consciously choose love my relationships naturally become more loving. When our foundation is build on love, what else but love can unfold?

  6. Knowing you Lee, I can’t imagine you being abusive to women in any way. The fact that you didn’t feel anything about the way women were portrayed in this article, shows how embedded these beliefs are. It was awesome to share in your reflections as you worked through the impositions you have experienced in your life as a man.

  7. As I read this blog for the second time I am realising how much I’ve contributed by being silent. Even in the presence of friends I didn’t say a word when there was some kind of abuse and / or control. Since letting the belief go that I’m ‘better’ (whatever that means) than a woman, there’s lots of little things coming up, uncomfortable little things to look at. Too much, too many times there’s been domination and control. And what I’m coming across is that I do this (need this) because for a long time I haven’t expressed how things / life / choices truly feel for me. So when it comes to a moment where I disagree, there’s no way I can just share that ‘normally’. It is beautiful to grow into a far more equal relationship where I actually feel that women deeply appreciate the equality. That they’re not as competion focussed as we men often choose. The fact that this is strange for me says everything about the fact that my life has been a lot of the times only about me. Thank God that I’ve got the self love now to slowly heal this and let it go.

  8. Very sad stats Lee – thank you for writing this eye-opening blog and raising very important questions for all to ponder on.

  9. This is a great article Lee, thank you for writing it, I can feel how as a woman I have allowed myself and all women to be put down and treated as second class citizens, I have not spoken up when I or other women have been treated with disrespect, it is time to change this and to claim how very powerful we as women are and that it is not acceptable to talk down to, patronise or abuse women in any way.

  10. Lee how important that we each speak up and say that abuse at any level is not ok. It’s not always the obvious levels of family violence that you shared, which we do need to be more aware of, but those subtle levels that just seep into our beliefs without us even realising. I am still grappling with this myself as I can now see how much I myself have and do ‘tolerate’. We do each have a role to play and we do need to keep calling this out until there is not a skerik of abuse left. It is definitely everybody’s business.

  11. Thank you Lee for you honesty in this blog. Sometimes when we have been exposed to the extreme levels a behaviour anything that is not that extreme has to be seen as better. Which at one level is true. But what you are now observing very clearly is how we can allow subtle forms of abuse to ‘escape our eyes’. We know they go on as we can feel even the slightest hint that one gender is less than another. Your blog Lee is definitely assisting me to see this at a more deeper level and to bring a greater awareness to the levels of physical violence that is ‘out there’ in the community. Your blog needs to be widely read.

    1. I agree Jennifer that this article needs a wide audience. Lee writes “Is it possible that as men we have a responsibility in everything that we do, write, say, touch, think?” but this applies equally to women. By regaining our self-worth, self-respect and reconnecting truly to what it is like to be a woman we can speed up the much needed change between the sexes.

  12. Lee thank you for your candid honesty here. I have been subject to the control and abuse you speak of but sadly I’m of the majority of women. So beautiful that one man has chosen to see and feel the truth in this behaviour rather than continue to defend it, as this is the first step to truly changing our ways.

  13. Great that you bring to our awareness that abuse should not be accepted at any level Lee, as we can go into tolerance and allowing certain behaviours that if truly felt into, are abusive and a sign that we are accepting far less for ourselves than our true and equal worth.

  14. Thank-you Lee for your acknowledgement and speaking out about the total lack of regard for woman written by the journalist in the Courier mail article, which actually claims that it’s wrong for a woman to say no to what she feels is unacceptable. This is an insult to all woman. Abuse is abuse and is unacceptable at any level and it’s long overdue to allow it to continue.

  15. As a woman I know I have accepted myself as less than a man unless I can beat them at their own game. This too is abuse, abuse on my tender, delicate body. Learning to connect and feel the power that is a woman’s power is something that will unite us all. Keeping a woman down will only continue the fury, the war, the violence. Thank God for Serge Benhayon for stating the truth of what we as women and men need to allow a woman to be. She is the still voice we have been wanting to hear for eons.

  16. Many men, to the best of their ability, hold women in a way that respects and honours women. The problem is these same men don’t change the status quo and voice their convictions.

    The same goes for women. The reason there isn’t gender equality is because neither gender, as a whole, is willing to embody everything that that gender entails. Once a man or woman lives their essence it becomes very difficult for the other to deny their own.

  17. Reading your blog stirred up so much sadness in me, Lee, I started crying and couldn’t continue reading. What you write about, the scale of abuse, disdain and disregard is devastating. Not only that. Deep within there is a huge sorrow that we as women allowed it to be this way.
    At the same time I feel the joy rising in my body from knowing that it is changing, if WE put the STOP to it.
    Thank you.

  18. I have never seen in any article about domestic violence the question of “why aren’t men who are violent or abusive to their families picking up the phone and seeking professional help?” After all, aren’t they responsible for their actions? Even if we can all do something about abuse, and we all should, why is it that the responsibility of the man enacting violence seems to be unspoken? Is there a social stigma that says needing help or being seen as weak is less desirable than violence against women and children? I feel that part of the package discussed here is the societal consciousness that men are not directly held accountable for their actions. I don’t disagree with the conversation that we all contribute to the environment of abuse, I’m just asking the question of why any man who has reached the level of domestic violence or abuse to his family, does not pick up the phone and book an appointment for professional support. His accountability is not less than any other contributor to abuse.

  19. Thank you for this Lee. “What have we allowed into a world that ‘pretends’ at being equal?” This affects everyone; from women not getting paid as equals – although lip service is paid to equality – and acting tough to outcompete men – to young boys not being allowed to express their tenderness and sensitivity as they grow. As you mention “Is it possible that as men we have a responsibility in everything that we do, write, say, touch, think?” This goes for women too of course.

  20. This is so needed Lee, an honest appraisal of our own self as well as men and women in general. We all need to take a look at how we view violence and inequality in our communities and call it out for what it is. No more brushing it under the carpet as if we won’t see it there, pretending that we are all liberated. I can only praise the teachings of Serge Benhayon for educating us in the art of Love and equality in relationships.

  21. It is deeply inspiring to read a man strip himself back to raw honesty and see the part he has played in perpetuating the misogyny or abuse that abounds. Few see that there are consequences in every action or that in even choosing silence or apathy instead, the message of allowing and condoning such behaviours or belief systems is reflected to the world. Thank you for stopping, exposing yourself and how far men have walked away from facing the truth, taken stock and chosen to walk back towards it.

  22. Thank you Lee, yes this blog brought feelings within me that I did not realise were still there. The media in their articles clearly exposed itself in perpetuating the belief of the subservience of women to men. Women in reaction have waved the banner of being feminists and in this strident approach have acted with the same dominating energy that they thought they were rejecting. Those who choose to listen to Serge Benhayon know that he presents the equalness of all and inspires men to know their sensitivity and tenderness and women to feel the power and strength of their fragility and preciousness.

  23. Thank you Lee, this is yet another wake up call for me, because like you I have played my part in the abuse of women in the past. Physically I would not touch a woman but verbally through innuendo, with snide comments, charged words, swearing, name calling, denigrating and making them seem silly and stupid, this is the way I approached my relationships. Why? Could it be that I had such low self esteem and deep feelings of rejection that before I would feel those hurts again I would attack with what made me feel safe? The turn around in my life and is thanks to the dedication to humanity by Serge Benhayon.
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  24. Lee thank you for writing and expressing this, until I read it I didn’t realise how much I as a woman stand aside and allow other women to be disrespected, to be denigrated and how by staying silent I am effectively abusing them. I have not really allowed myself to fully feel how abusive my home environment was growing up, how abuse comes in many forms and often it’s those forms which are not violent, which we dismiss which have an equal impact. I am beginning to see and understand more that abuse is abuse and that we allow way too much abuse in the world, in our lives and with ourselves. And how in my quest to have things be nice or look ok or ‘harmonious’ that I’ve settled for a level of less that is abusive towards me as a woman, towards men and toward all other women. As you say Lee, we’ve all been playing games and we’ve all been party to abuse for a long time and it’s only when we stop and see that we can being to fully comprehend the mess we are in. Right now I sit in the UK, and we’re in a right mess, with ugliness, abuse and racial violence being expressed more freely, bullying of MP’s by activists who disagree with them, and it’s shocking and yet I have to see and feel how I’ve allowed this to exist, in my life and in others. And that by settling for a measure of success, for a comfortable middle ground I’ve degraded all around me including me, or as you put it ‘Is it possible that in order to ‘play ball’ we allow women some surface freedom, but really deeply control them by the many beliefs that we subscribe to, including the ‘fact’ that men are ‘in charge, in control’.’ – We all do this, and we allow men and other women to do it too, we abuse each other keeping ourselves in place and yet we’re all abusing and being abused because of it. Very insightful article with much more to unravel and feel, thank you again.

  25. What a mess both Women and Men have allowed to foster and grow in our “civilised” society. We all have much to reflect upon and answer to. One of my biggest questions is how can we call ourselves “civilised and the most evolved species when a) we treat each other with little or no regard and not give this a second thought
    b) we physically hurt and intimidate each other to the point we go to war, and we see this as necessary and our only option
    c) we don’t see Love as an important aspect to everyday life and function, rather we see Love as an emotion that exists between a couple or family members.
    d) we teach our children they have to fight for security and their security is more important than another’s and it is sometimes necessary to step on others to achieve this security.
    e) we abuse our bodies daily through all we ingest, how we move, how we talk, and we see no problem with this to the point we justify it as normal.
    All up we have got ourselves as a species into a real pickle and honesty is our key back to Love.

  26. We have to really start appreciating what women actually bring. They bring a quality in their presence that is very needed for mankind to return to a harmonious balance. They themselves have to embrace this within themselves and not think they have to become equal by becoming everything that a man is. Often we think that equality is for everyone to have equal pay and equal rights which is true but true equality runs way deeper. True equality is when we realise that there is not a big difference between a woman and a man, in fact there is none, yes we might look different but the quality that lives within us is the same, it’s only a bit different in expression, women emanate one thing and men another but by quality we do not differ.

  27. What an awesome call out to us all – both men and women alike – about true responsibility. We treat words like disposable goods – as if they are two a penny and have no power to really hurt or upset. How wrong can we be? When we look at it we use words to start wars by labelling people in ways that demonise and objectify them. Journalists have such huge responsibility in our world – to truly consider the impact of every piece they write – and not just think about selling copy or how much they can earn. We all have such responsibility to be examples of how to treat each other and how to speak of each other. There is no hiding place.

  28. Thank you Lee this is a brilliant blog with many great insights to consider. I agree men are in a mess and your ability to see through this fog and speak up about it shines a light for those that are still lost and choose to stay stuck in these abusive patterns. Yes men have contributed to the abuse of women and need to take responsibility for their actions, but I also feel women have equally contributed to the abuse by not calling the man to account when abuse first enters the relationships, often we over-ride what we feel or stay silent to ‘keep the peace’ – allowing the abuse to continue.

  29. Lee you raise a great point about how it is about all men against all women, in reality. It may not be physical violence particularly in my life but I witness men’s attitudes of superiority over woman from the most unlikely places at times, because it is so deeply entrenched sometimes even in those men who actively seek to reverse it. I realise now that when I have reacted to this I have done so on behalf of all women to all men, and thus it goes round and round. I feel going forward to keep reading this unequalness over and over, without judgement, without taking it personally, but as a way to not accept it any more.

  30. I feel to make a separate point here about women’s part in this, by accepting it and by our own self-deprivation which invites it too. We have to do our part by coming back to the love that we all are, knowing our worth in the world. For all the dishonoring I may have known from men in my life, I have often been just as dishonored by women, if not more so, and so we also need to turn that around by setting an example and as women being more honoring of each other too.

  31. Hi Lee – as I read this blog and allow the words you have expressed sink in, I realise how deeply ingrained the relationship between men and women are and the level of acceptance there is of the way it is. Your words are the first words I have openly heard calling for men to honestly take stock of the ingrained behaviours they carry around with them that are abuse of women and look down upon them. This blog is very healing to read – thank you.

  32. Men and woman today all too often go head to head against each other and totally narrow in on each others’ weaknesses instead of appreciating the way our strengths compliment and build each of us both up. We have much to learn to live to our true potential in our every day.

  33. This is powerful Lee. Thank you for expressing it. It’s amazing how so much can be hidden beneath the fog of illusion – it’s fascinating that on first read of the article you didn’t feel anything but on further looking, the truth was revealed. This shows how sneaky the energy of separation, denigration and sexism is. It does run very deep and yes men are responsible. But women are equally responsible – we have allowed this to happen. Together we have created it and together we will change it. Articles like this are an awesome first step.

  34. The gender pay gap is currently trending as a topic of conversation, the patriachical society that we live in is well documented… and the flip side in feminism often seems to mimic the cold, aloof super strong image that men have been trying to put out. But this misses the point – women hold the secret to a deep inner femaleness that us men so need to reconnect to. They are the reflection which allows us to be more vulnerable, raw and real. It is the worst irony when women try to be more like men, when there is so much that we can be inspired by from a true woman.

  35. I was recently having a conversation with a male leader in my workplace. He shared that in board meetings the women’s opinions are not as respected as the men and that ultimately the men make all the decisions.
    I could see the outplay of this and what it communicates to the whole company. Women also have a part to play in this when they don’t truly honour themselves and then play ball with this. It was interesting to observe how as a woman in this workplace- I don’t play these games and I speak up when needed. My opinion is often sought and valued and I have become the rock or sounding board for many- including the companies leaders. I have not done this by ‘fighting for my rights’ but by learning to express myself and hold myself in the workplace with the knowing of all that I bring. I am also moving from going into the workplace and living in a way that keeps me safe or is concerned with what I need but am becoming more about seeing what is going on and living in a way that sees and supports others and making this my focus.

  36. Lee, I appreciate the point you are making when you say that when a man beats a woman it is not simply one individual attacking another but rather “…the ‘whole of man’ forcefully seeking control over the ‘whole of women’.” This shows us in no uncertain terms the consciousness we are up against. When we align, no matter how subtly, to such a way of thinking we allow the full force of that consciousness to be expressed through us, be it in a physical act of violence, a condemning word or the silence of saying and doing nothing to stop this. This consciousness is a ‘group force’ that is made up of all of us not expressing who we truly are and what we truly feel and thereby allowing such abuse to just sit there and fester within us, influencing the way we move, think, eat, sleep, talk etc. The only way to truly dissolve the hold such a force has over us as a collective whole is to re-turn back and begin to live the truth we each in essence are. In this way, ‘all that we are not’ will not have the upper hand in the world in which we live and ‘who we truly are’ will be reinstated as our one and only way to be.

  37. If I still have habits of behaviours that are abusive to myself am I not contributing to the conscious and group force that feeds this denigration of woman.? I am pondering on the ‘story ‘ of creation in the Bible which states that a rib was taken from Adam to create Eve, she was not created in her own right but a lesser part of man, when that man is considered head of the house, could these untruths that are believed by many people of Christian faiths be a part of the problem we have today?

  38. Lee you raise some great points here, there are many types of abuse that men use against women, anger, frustration and many more that we don’t even acknowledge as abuse, and we all have a responsibility to call out all forms of abuse no matter how minor they appear to be.

  39. Some great reflections here Lee thank you. Understanding how we have all contributed to this not-so-subtle denigration of women is so important if we are to dismantle it truly. Honesty for our part is the first step.

    1. Well said Jenny – honesty and looking at the responsibility we each have as human beings to live in a way that offsets and shines light on a true way of living.

      1. Yes, our tendency is to think it’s too big, and that we don’t have the ability to change something as pervasive as this. The truth is we absolutely do, and accepting that it actually starts with each of us individually, is part of that honesty.

  40. Such a stunning and deeply honest piece of writing that men everywhere should read. Very few take responsibility for their held beliefs and actions but even less to the level you have here. It is deeply inspiring to have someone stop and feel the harm of the collective misogyny along with their own and take steps towards exposing and rectifying it. Thank you.

  41. An awesome article highlighting the responsibility men have, but equally so do women. Until both genders acknowledge their behaviors, beliefs and needs and see them as the contributor they are to the inequality between men and women little will change. But to begin change, articles like this one go a long way in giving us all the stop moment needed to consider our part in this ill, degrading behavior.

  42. Everything we do contributes to everything that is. So we are either moving in a way that supports the ills of the world, by being in disregard of our connection to ourselves and others, or we are moving towards our inner knowing that we are all connected and that everything is effecting everyone.

  43. We all share a responsibility of how we treat each other whatever our gender or physical differences. Those who chose to attend presentations by Serge Benhayon and choose The Way of The Livingness as a way to live – be they man or woman – are choosing, of their own free will, an equalness with all and expose the deliberate media misinformation journalists as those who are trying to perpetuate the subjugation of women everywhere.

  44. What we can read and be aware of is determined by how our bodies have been energetically configured. I see this all the time in the Esoteric Yoga sessions I present, where people are so comfortable with an ill configured posture or way of moving that it takes time for them to be able to feel what’s going on and come back to a more natural alignment. This configuring is what happens to men and women throughout their lives by what they accept as perhaps not ideal but normal. This shows me just how important it is to not blindly accept the norms and to question what underlies the way we behave and treat one another.

  45. Incredibly honest and exposing blog Lee. It’s an evil that lies undetected in many until we are ready to see the truth. Not only do many men have this running within, but women who have fallen for the lie that we are less. It’s a very insidious way to keep humanity less by suppressing the power women hold within.

  46. Thank you Lee I am 100% with you. This runs deep in our consciousness as men. I am becoming aware how much I have allowed the objectification of women that then has the momentum of all the types of abuse. Not only do men need to be aware of their thoughts and actions ie be tender with themselves and define truth on their own sensitivity but so too do women to stop this behaviour. Say NO to abuse by saying YES to truth.

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