Observation Builds Trust

by Anonymous, UK

I find trust to be a strange thing and speaking personally, not something that comes very easily to me. I was recently given pause to consider some of the people/institutions that we unconsciously trust.

The first one that came to mind was our relationship with Banks, who we daily entrust with our money, therefore making them enormously significant to us personally. It was interesting to reflect that in recent years that trust has slowly been eroded, be that in funds on deposit (Northern Rock, Royal Bank of Scotland), miss-selling of financial products (PPI scandals) or the total lack of management’s personal integrity (which comes up again and again in the bonus scandals, and more recently in the LIBOR fixing and laundering of drug & terrorist funds). When you list it like that, it reads a little like a recent James Bond movie!

Once I’d started down this track, I began thinking about other institutions in which we have placed an enormous amount of trust but which have shown a steady pattern of abuse:

The Media provide us with a glance into every facet of life, and that freedom of expression enriches our society. However, there is a responsibility that comes with that free speech, and that is to make sure it is done with clear journalistic integrity, and not just for personal gain, sensationalism or worse still as ‘hate  speech’ (intentional harm toward an individual or group). When I look at the Media, I am again struck by the lack of integrity which has crept in – and the enormous effect that has on society (just look at how far reaching the Leveson Enquiry into the phone hacking scandal was, or how damning the Hutton report on WMD and the Iraq war was on the BBC, which above all has tried to uphold some of that social responsibility). Little further needs to be said about the ‘moral compass’ of the paparazzi.

And that brings me to ‘the big question’ – how can we entrust someone or some organisation with understanding or supporting our connection to God?

Many people align to what they know best in the form of an established religion, which gives them a sense of community, worship and a relationship with something unknown and yet immutable. But again as with the other examples, many of these age old institutions have been corrupted, and what is worse, have used their power to corrupt others. The Catholic Church has a particularly poor reputation at the moment with the exposure of all the sex scandals and financial irregularities. Their choice of Pope this time round has been particularly interesting given his involvement in some of the scandals that abound (the Pope’s Butler leaked Vatican documents to combat the evil and corruption in the Church). Other denominations have their own inconsistencies – be that militarised Clerics promoting terrorism, or an inability to agree on whether one’s gender or sexuality should alter our relationship to God.

Others in their search for something different, not trusting the main religious orders, have sought out new ideas and themes in what has become known as the ‘New Age’. But we are well aware that this ‘movement’ has been riddled with charlatans, charismatic gurus and cult leaders who have abused their power. Their list of misdemeanours is equally impressive – with well documented sexual abuse of entire communities, financial embezzlement, drug abuse, secrecy and control over personal liberties including gated communities.

So how can one choose what to trust these days? Especially with something as personal and intangible as discovering more about one’s relationship to God?

Many years ago I remember reading about the Dalai Lama, who seems to me to be one of the few religious leaders in this world who has maintained an impeccable record through his unbelievable compassion and approach to life. In spite of the incredibly difficult situation he has found himself in with China and Tibet, he is someone that the world has GROWN to trust through his integrity and commitment. His advice on how to choose what path to take was to spend 5-10 years studying and reviewing everything you can about what is being taught, what example is being set and how life is being lived. After this review period you will know deep and true whether what is being presented can be trusted.

So that is what I did when I met Serge Benhayon in 2002 as I was not ready to commit myself to any particular path of study, although I have always been open and looking for answers. Over the next five years those around me were deeply involved in the work of Universal Medicine, helping to organise courses, give talks and working as practitioners, and this gave me a very detailed view of Universal Medicine’s work. At the same time I got to know Serge personally as a friend, to be with his family on holidays, to watch his kids grow up, and be privy to many of his business dealings.

After five years I can tell you that here is a man that has ABSOLUTE integrity, complete consistency and an unwavering love of people. He treats me in the same way regardless of whether I engage with the work or not. He treats people with the same love and honesty regardless of whether they are his kids, or someone he is meeting for the first time. He has the integrity to live exactly what he is teaching, to say the truth no matter what, to eat, sleep, walk and talk in a way that supports him to be even more available to those in need, and with no scandal, financial irregularities, or personal substance abuse.

Over ten years on, and his kids are grown up now. They are a beacon that shines through the loving choices they make and everything that Serge has inspired them with.  The same can be said for those that have been studying with Serge over the years – learning about themselves, what holds them back and how to truly love, both themselves and everyone else. I can feel the difference in myself – a connection to a warmer and deeper place inside myself, and a gentleness and compassion that is available for others in my relationships and business.

And what does he teach? That life is all about the choices we make, and the best way to make those choices is from deep inside your heart – to live your own life with love, joy, harmony and truth – and to encourage that in others. Simple really.

So if you are going to make a choice about something, I can recommend that you find out a lot more about the individual/s and the organisation not from reading about it, but from seeing what it does, meeting the people involved and feeling the results of its work – and if you discover that they are consistent (that is, truly living what they ‘teach’) then you can learn to trust in the path that they tread.

187 thoughts on “Observation Builds Trust

  1. People want to believe in something – it makes them feel better about living in the functional and reduced world we are experiencing as life. I feel like the desperation of knowing that there is more to life but not understanding how to embrace that as a reality has lead to a lot of the spiritual new age stuff.

  2. It is such a blessing to have experienced the consistency of love from Serge Benhayon. With all the corruption coming from some of the most trusted organisations and institutions, it wobbles trust in everything. Yet the consistency he lives shows what is possible if we make love, care, integrity, responsibility and understanding our guiding impulses – “to live your own life with love, joy, harmony and truth – and to encourage that in others.” This is not an ideal but a Livingness.

  3. I absolutely agree that trust is built through observation and Serge has mine implicitly after not wavering in his way for the 15 years I have known him. It does not surprise me that you can now feel the difference and the deeper connection you have within, allowing you to have a compassion for others in both relationships and business, for it is truly extraordinary what being inspired by others like Serge and his family can do.

  4. The person with whom it is necessary to have the greatest is our self and how many people can say they truly trust themselves? Serge Benhayon and members of his family are such people and regaining that trust in ourselves, and with which we are all innately born, is what he and his family teach, present and live. That is why he is so greatly trusted by so many.

  5. There is no doubt that ‘freedom of expression enriches our society’ but if that expression is not founded on integrity what is the actual quality of what is shared.

  6. What I love about Serge Benhayon is how open and honest he is with everyone, and through that honesty which is consistent there builds a trust that then becomes a deeper knowing.

  7. I am struck by the fact that I have lost faith in many of these institutions being trustworthy or putting people over profits. Yet I have to accept that there are people in each of these institutions that make a choice or choices to perpetuate this behaviour and therefore that is what makes the institutions corrupt or let us down, not the industry but those who choose to behave in a way that does not respect the trust that has been placed in them.

  8. One of the things that I love about both the Dalai Lama and Serge Benhayon is that they talk to everyone. Whenever they are presenting they talk to everyone all at the same time, they are inclusive to the max. As a result you can’t help but see how this nurtures trust.

  9. Well said, consistency is a great marker for trust. I know that as a mother this has been the only expression that has made any difference. When I am inconsistent, the trust erodes and no matter what I say they do not listen. It goes both ways. Re-building that trust takes an openness to not judge but to walk beside someone, not seeking perfection but a willingness to commit to the best of our ability.

  10. It is so true that we can know much about someone by observing their movements and how they are in all aspects of their lives. I am constantly inspired when I see Serge or Natalie Benhayon- when I am in their presence I get a greater sense of myself and it inspires me to live more of this and let it out.

  11. Trust, or actually distrust, is something many of us live with in our lives. This constant, beware – be cautious feeling is a tension that affects our bodies everyday. Something I am feeling is that my distrust has its origins in not trusting in myself. Committing deeply to what I know to be true was something that I avoided for years and distrust of self and subsequently others was everywhere in my life. This has changed for me by living what Serge Benhayon presents to the best of my ability. And it all stems from trusting what I innately know inside.

  12. True, I didn’t need that much time though. To me he felt genuine all through and through from the word go and hasn’t wavered one bit during the years I’ve known him. It’s a sad thing really that we need to apply that level of discernment just because we’ve been hood winked by other institutions, but that’s how it is.

  13. Here is a funny thing about trust. We may say we don’t trust people or humanity, but the truth is we do -every day. This was pointed out to me recently by a shop assistant. She realised how much she truly trusted people when she first got pregnant and got very protective of her unborn baby. She then realised how much she trusts people to stop at the crossing, to not run into you etc. And when you sit back, the truth is we trust people each and every day, so when we say we don’t trust people, and make a big deal of it, it pays to put it in perspective, to realise we already have a foundation of trust built deeply within us that only needs to be reconnected to and then expressed in the small pockets of life where we say we have an issue.

    1. This explains to me the reason for the reaction we have to untrustworthy behaviour, for if our natural position is to to trust – which I feel it is too – there is then a deep hurt that comes with another’s breaking of this trust which we protect at all costs by ourselves going against our natural impulse to trust unconditionally, which is in itself our biggest hurt. To put it simply, it is not the untrustworthy behaviour of others that hurts most, but our rejection of our innate quality to trust (love) unconditionally.

    2. That’s very true Adam. So many times I have introduced myself to a patient at work to then be followed very quickly by a very personal discussion and all that was asked was “how are you?” I had never really thought about that before and it is the inherent trust we hold in each other.

    3. So true Adam, I love what you’ve shared. It puts it into perspective how at ease we are with trust on a daily basis and as you say it is a foundation that is deeply within us all.

  14. Great to read your blog again today, you’ve shared some tremendous insights into corruption and abuse of power in many organisations – we can add charities to that list now too, and let’s not forget governments. It would be easy to become cynical with the world the way it is and to give up yet we can all contribute to true lasting change by living integrity, love, truth and harmony, and by speaking up and acting in a way to bring change. We all have so much to contribute and it starts with us.

  15. When one person or one organisation lets us down we all too easily tar everyone with the same brush. In turn if we let it, this erodes our confidence and we all too easily give up on, end up being suspicious of, and distrust everyone. It is really important to understand that you cannot blame everyone for the behaviour of the few.

  16. What a great exploration of trust in our world today. The irony of those establishments that have asked for our trust and broken it, leaving us feeling hurt and confused at times, and maybe mistrustful then when something more solid that does feel true comes along. I know that I have been guarded and wary at times. Nowadays I have a more solid marker of truth in my life, thanks to Serge Benhayon, so that I can feel it for myself. The question becomes not is that good or bad, right or wrong, but that does it feel True?

  17. Thank you Anonymous. I have spent about 10 years learning with Serge Benhayon, after coming out of the New Age that delivered nothing like the truth, just promises and fluffy words with no real substance.. Universal Medicine presents the truth as shown by example in the livingness of Serge and his family and many students of the Livingness.

  18. “And what does he teach? That life is all about the choices we make, and the best way to make those choices is from deep inside your heart – to live your own life with love, joy, harmony and truth – and to encourage that in others. Simple really.” There is no greater recipe or medicine for life than this.

  19. So beautifully and simply said, I studied and watched Serge Benhayon for many years also and I agree his integrity and true love and care for humanity is absolute – he is the ‘real deal’.

  20. After observing Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine for the past 13 years I can truly testify that here at last is a completely trustworthy organisation founded by a man whose integrity is impeccable.

  21. To me the fact that we have lost trust is only because we have walked away from a way of being in which we where connected with the all, the universe and actually with God. And it needs some time to build that inner connection once again as through this disconnection we have been able to allow false ideals and belief systems into our lives which have all failed us and made us lose trust. Therefore to me observing is a good way to explore something that is brought new to us as when we observe we do not absorb and get affected by it but instead can clearly determine that which is true or not.

  22. Yes I agree in a world where trust has been eroded at every turn it is a true blessing to come across an organisation such as Universal Medicine, founded by Serge Benhayon whose integrity and example of living Truth is so undeniable and inspiring that you cannot but begin to be able to trust again. And this trust begins with building a trust in our self again. Trusting that we can indeed discern and know what is best for us by connecting and listening to our own body’s innate wisdom.

  23. This is such a beautiful blog. I have known Serge Benhayon for over 10 years, getting on for 14 now, and No, I have never had any occasion to doubt him either. Through his work I have developed trust in myself again, and with that steady foundation it is easier to feel what is true and not true in the world and respond accordingly.

  24. Through the courses of Serge and Universal Medicine I have healed and cleared so much, ( my hurts and issues and my huge lack of trust) that I can now say finally that I trust myself and I trust my feelings and what my body communicates. In trusting that everything I need is already within me, I observe so much more and in this observation this supports me to be discerning.

  25. If we are not able to observe but instead make ourselves dependent of what is being presented to us we are not able to discern for ourselves what is true and tend to base our trust on what others are telling us to trust. And what we can learn from the past is that this is not a good way to build trust and to me that way has failed to prove its reliability and now trust on observation instead.

  26. Claiming one thing and doing another is called lying. We don’t like that when corporates and government act in this way – but they consist of people, like any of us. So are we as an individual living a life of integrity that we want to see in others?

  27. If you think in terms of the institutions that we can trust they are indeed few and far between. But learning to trust ourselves… that is possible isn’t it? If we can simply do that then we have the perfect tool with which to consider the integrity of every moment, each decision, the next choice and the next one. It’s a simple moment by moment experience but is the only way to live being true to yourself.

    1. It is very possible Simon, having had huge lack of trust issues all my life to now trusting in myself has been the game changer but also it has provided me with this strong foundation that no matter what happens around me or ‘ out there’, as long as I stay with myself, trusting my feelings, I will always know my next steps or movements that serves all.

  28. I agree that we should adopt a more investigative approach to all things we read, see on TV or hear. Its a sad fact that I have come across articles in papers or published on the internet that I know have been complete lies, and the scandals you mention in your blog are shockingly large scale.

  29. Yes anonymous, feeling is believing, and one thing that I would add is that we don’t even trust ourselves. Trusting my feelings is a great step I have taken that has left me feeling more confident about being able to discern the difference between something/someone that is fake or genuine. Being patient is another asset in my toolbox. Rushing to make a decision is not always the best way forward, which ties in with the advice in your last paragraph.

  30. Yes it’s about people walking what they talk and few do, and those that do really stand out. It says a lot about our world right now that they stand out so much, how far we’ve gone away from living in a way that creates trust and operates with an integrity and a care in how we deal with everyone no matter who they are. I love that you did your own experiment and allowed yourself to see if what was presented was true, that you used your powers of discernment to check it out – we need more of this in the world and actually we need more organisations which meet the trust being asked, and that is where organisations like Universal Medicine are such a beacon to those they meet by inspiring many such as you to live in a way that is about trust, truth and integrity in the world.

  31. Yes using newspapers as a source to see what is truly going on in the world is not the best of ideas. Best is to discern for yourself and get to know something personally, and if that is not possible using your ability to feel is also a good thing.

  32. Wow. So true – many things are granted a degree of trust without due diligence or discernment, and the consequence of this kind of investment is definitely not something I give consideration constantly.

  33. Consistency is the key, is it lived, and is it lived consistently? Very few do this, so as you say observing is the tool, have a look, ask questions and be willing to see it all and use that space to make up your own mind. This is how we can see what is and isn’t true everywhere in life.

    1. Yes Monica, being prepared to see it all, in full, ugliness included and choose not to react but to stay present and bring understanding. Make a choice to speak up, align, be what it is, the choice then becomes one you stand by.

  34. ‘So if you are going to make a choice about something, I can recommend that you find out a lot more about the individual/s and the organisation not from reading about it, but from seeing what it does, meeting the people involved and feeling the results of its work – and if you discover that they are consistent (that is, truly living what they ‘teach’) then you can learn to trust in the path that they tread.’ What awesome advice which some would say was just pure common sense but how often do we apply this in life? We live in an age where everyone wants everything now or even quicker if possible and depends on such sites as wikipedia for trusted advice. I must admit I used to rely on it myself but now I know how it can be used to mislead I tend to favour more thorough research and there is nothing better than lived experience to show us what is really going on.

  35. Thank you Anonymous, I too observed Serge Benhayon for quite some time and similar to you, I found him to be a man who lives with absolute integrity and his commitment, dedication and love for humanity is second to none. As a result of what I saw and felt, I became a student of the Way of The Livingness confident that I had found my path of return to God.

  36. Love this Anonymous, having been a student of Universal Medicine for almost 10 years now I can say without question that they walk their talk. I know through my own observations and learning that this is a business that I can trust and for me The Way of the Livingness is a religion that supports you to live the all that you are. I am forever appreciative of the impact that Universal Medicine, Serge Benhayon and the Benhayon family have and continue to have on my life.

  37. “So how can one choose what to trust these days? Especially with something as personal and intangible as discovering more about one’s relationship to God?” Developing a true relationship with God comes not from any institution or organised religious group but from an ever deepening connection to your own inner-heart where love and God are ever present.

  38. This is a truly beautiful article, based on a very practical foundation of how your observations have built trust, that is know what you know to be true. As Shakespeare said ‘to thine own self be true’ and if we do that we cannot be swayed by the medias misinformed propaganda.

  39. I loved the power and beauty in your sharing and the undeniable truth in your last paragraph… for Serge, through living what he speaks, has unwaveringly shown that we can absolutely trust in the path that he treads… and as a consequence so many have been so deeply inspired by it, they now lovingly choose it for themselves.

  40. I feel we put trust into organisations because we don’t want to be responsible for the truth ourselves, which we need to feel in every moment. We give our power away instead of trusting ourselves and what we feel. We want the image of the outer world to be rosy and it to be something we can rely on, but the truth is the only place we can rely on is our own inner heart. From the inner heart we both find and bring consistency.

    1. This is well expressed Melinda and really does expose our part in having the world we do today. Keeping silent is as much contributing to the power of organisations and the status they have gained in society (good or bad), as actively promoting it. It is time we considered this more closely and where/how we have each individually not wanted to be responsible for truth.

  41. What I came to realise is that I didn’t actually trust myself – so how could I trust another? Learning to feel energy was also key – as I had been giving my trust to people and situations – without feeling where they were truly coming from. So, inspired by Serge Benhayon, I agree with you – “And what does he teach? That life is all about the choices we make, and the best way to make those choices is from deep inside your heart – to live your own life with love, joy, harmony and truth – and to encourage that in others. Simple really.” Yes simple – not always easy – but definitely simple.

  42. I have always been slow to trust and observation has always been a tool I have used. Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine being no exception. After observing I know I can trust Both, but have noticed when complete trust is up for grabs I have a ways to go on letting many in. It has shown me how guarded I am and that the wall is on my side of the fence. I feel so grateful that Serge has come into my life, a man I know I have complete safety in trusting my all.

  43. Thank you for sharing Anonymous “a connection to a warmer and deeper place inside myself, and a gentleness and compassion that is available for others in my relationships and business.” to now have this as a foundation for your life from allowing trust to be built is awesome – the reflection Serge Benhayon radiates is that we are all love and we can all choose to connect to it equally so.

  44. this is a great recommendation, seeing with your own eyes is the best way of building trust, as we can always trust ourself.

    1. I’d take this a step further Benkt, and to say that “feeling with our bodies and connecting to our inner hearts” is the best way of building trust… For when we connect to the truth of our body, we connect to universal truth and knowing exactly what is truth and what we can trust.

      1. yes that is true, its about trust in our own feelings, knowing our body and our inner heart is the core to building this trust.

  45. Great article ! Trust is sometimes something so instilled within us with certain ‘constructs’ in life that we often forget to look deeper and question the deeper ways of our world.

    1. This is a great reminder that discernment is certainly a tool that can support in life, whether we are forgetting or avoiding questioning what’s really going on in the world.

    2. Yes, we just take life at face value without appreciating there are whole industries built on selling and presenting what we should want or, dare I say it what they ensure we think we need….

  46. The responsibility to back something comes back to our own integrity as a person. For if we are out there only to receive the cheapest service to profit the individual our ears won’t be tuned to the foul play a company may be engaging in. I’m not saying to go crazy in researching everything you may purchase from someone however to feel into what you buy does have its merits.

  47. Trust is one of my biggest hurdles, reading your blog I realised how much trust I had put into organisations that had broken that trust as well as people in my life. It became a common and accepted part of my life. It really brings to light how much corruption and lies are lived. With so much distrust I then started to live a measured life on how much I trust another is how much I give.

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