Observation builds trust

by Anonymous, UK

I find trust to be a strange thing and speaking personally, not something that comes very easily to me. I was recently given pause to consider some of the people/institutions that we unconsciously trust.

The first one that came to mind was our relationship with Banks, who we daily entrust with our money, therefore making them enormously significant to us personally. It was interesting to reflect that in recent years that trust has slowly been eroded, be that in funds on deposit (Northern Rock, Royal Bank of Scotland), miss-selling of financial products (PPI scandals) or the total lack of management’s personal integrity (which comes up again and again in the bonus scandals, and more recently in the LIBOR fixing and laundering of drug & terrorist funds). When you list it like that, it reads a little like a recent James Bond movie!

Once I’d started down this track, I began thinking about other institutions in which we have placed an enormous amount of trust but which have shown a steady pattern of abuse:

The Media provide us with a glance into every facet of life, and that freedom of expression enriches our society. However, there is a responsibility that comes with that free speech, and that is to make sure it is done with clear journalistic integrity, and not just for personal gain, sensationalism or worse still as ‘hate  speech’ (intentional harm toward an individual or group). When I look at the Media, I am again struck by the lack of integrity which has crept in – and the enormous effect that has on society (just look at how far reaching the Leveson Enquiry into the phone hacking scandal was, or how damning the Hutton report on WMD and the Iraq war was on the BBC, which above all has tried to uphold some of that social responsibility). Little further needs to be said about the ‘moral compass’ of the paparazzi.

And that brings me to ‘the big question’ – how can we entrust someone or some organisation with understanding or supporting our connection to God?

Many people align to what they know best in the form of an established religion, which gives them a sense of community, worship and a relationship with something unknown and yet immutable. But again as with the other examples, many of these age old institutions have been corrupted, and what is worse, have used their power to corrupt others. The Catholic Church has a particularly poor reputation at the moment with the exposure of all the sex scandals and financial irregularities. Their choice of Pope this time round has been particularly interesting given his involvement in some of the scandals that abound (the Pope’s Butler leaked Vatican documents to combat the evil and corruption in the Church). Other denominations have their own inconsistencies – be that militarised Clerics promoting terrorism, or an inability to agree on whether one’s gender or sexuality should alter our relationship to God.

Others in their search for something different, not trusting the main religious orders, have sought out new ideas and themes in what has become known as the ‘New Age’. But we are well aware that this ‘movement’ has been riddled with charlatans, charismatic gurus and cult leaders who have abused their power. Their list of misdemeanours is equally impressive – with well documented sexual abuse of entire communities, financial embezzlement, drug abuse, secrecy and control over personal liberties including gated communities.

So how can one choose what to trust these days? Especially with something as personal and intangible as discovering more about one’s relationship to God?

Many years ago I remember reading about the Dalai Lama, who seems to me to be one of the few religious leaders in this world who has maintained an impeccable record through his unbelievable compassion and approach to life. In spite of the incredibly difficult situation he has found himself in with China and Tibet, he is someone that the world has GROWN to trust through his integrity and commitment. His advice on how to choose what path to take was to spend 5-10 years studying and reviewing everything you can about what is being taught, what example is being set and how life is being lived. After this review period you will know deep and true whether what is being presented can be trusted.

So that is what I did when I met Serge Benhayon in 2002 as I was not ready to commit myself to any particular path of study, although I have always been open and looking for answers. Over the next five years those around me were deeply involved in the work of Universal Medicine, helping to organise courses, give talks and working as practitioners, and this gave me a very detailed view of Universal Medicine’s work. At the same time I got to know Serge personally as a friend, to be with his family on holidays, to watch his kids grow up, and be privy to many of his business dealings.

After five years I can tell you that here is a man that has ABSOLUTE integrity, complete consistency and an unwavering love of people. He treats me in the same way regardless of whether I engage with the work or not. He treats people with the same love and honesty regardless of whether they are his kids, or someone he is meeting for the first time. He has the integrity to live exactly what he is teaching, to say the truth no matter what, to eat, sleep, walk and talk in a way that supports him to be even more available to those in need, and with no scandal, financial irregularities, or personal substance abuse.

Over ten years on, and his kids are grown up now. They are a beacon that shines through the loving choices they make and everything that Serge has inspired them with.  The same can be said for those that have been studying with Serge over the years – learning about themselves, what holds them back and how to truly love, both themselves and everyone else. I can feel the difference in myself – a connection to a warmer and deeper place inside myself, and a gentleness and compassion that is available for others in my relationships and business.

And what does he teach? That life is all about the choices we make, and the best way to make those choices is from deep inside your heart – to live your own life with love, joy, harmony and truth – and to encourage that in others. Simple really.

So if you are going to make a choice about something, I can recommend that you find out a lot more about the individual/s and the organisation not from reading about it, but from seeing what it does, meeting the people involved and feeling the results of its work – and if you discover that they are consistent (that is, truly living what they ‘teach’) then you can learn to trust in the path that they tread.

161 thoughts on “Observation builds trust

  1. You’re right anonymous, there is a real social responsibility with what we share for we can completely underestimate the ripple effect of our actions.

  2. That is indeed good advice. Study somebody who delivers teachings for 5 to 10 years and then start following the teachings. Space that we don’t usually don’t take in the present society, where everything has to be a quick fix. After studying Universal Medicine for 10 years, I can also say that this organization, which is founded by Serge Benhayon, can be trusted in every way. Never have I seen Serge Benhayon fall down on what he teaches. Without perfection. That is the way trust is build.

  3. It’s certainly difficult to trust someone who says or acts one way in one situation and then behaves differently in another. Consistency breeds trust, and Serge Benhayon is a ‘rock’ when it comes to living in the most consistently loving way I have seen another human being live in the 8 years I have known him.

  4. Each of us knows how to be in life, truly. I know I knew long before becoming a student of Universal Medicine, however, even though I knew it, I was not able to live it. Instead I was very frustrated at how the world is and how my life was. Meeting Serge Benhayon and seeing someone living with such an impeccable level of integrity, I have begun to live the same for myself. Such a choice is very revealing and takes a very loving committment to halt behaviours that I have learnt that are not true to the integrity I hold. So yes, trust is needed, but initially it must be a trust of what is deeply felt within.

  5. I absolutely agree with what is shared here … it’s so rare today to find true consistency and trust, and in fact the world is desperately craving that, and people know it’s missing … they know that all this corruption, mis-treatment and abuse is not it … so when they do come across someone who presents something different, something true, they’re so conditioned to distrust us because the world is full of distrust and that’s where consistency and love are so important for we need to see people we can trust, and we need to see it over time to break down our lack of trust, and to remind all of us that we can indeed live another way.

  6. Australia is at the start of a Royal Commission into Financial Institutions and already there is carnage. The level of corruption and greed is appalling to see and read about and you can see how it is devastating confidence in one of those industries we all felt we could trust. The ripple effect of the breakdown of that trust will be interesting to see as I suspect it will manifest in seemingly unconnected areas in years to come.

  7. Another element of Trust is the fact that we can never really give trust away into the hands of another. What I mean by this is that in the end it is about you trusting your body and what you are feeling. So no one can really ‘let you down’ so to speak, because if you really let yourself feel the person and the situation, you actually know deep down what will unfold. It is when you go against what you know, that you have so called lost trust in yourself for not listening to your own body. So in a nutshell we let ourselves down when we do not trust what we feel.

  8. Beautifully shared Anon! Trust comes from consistency and over a period of time. It is not something that is gained over night. So when someone is consistent over a long period of time presenting a steady hand and no facades, you know to trust what you see and feel. Serge Benhayon is one of those whose consistency and steadiness is incredible and extraordinary and exemplary in more ways than we realise.

  9. There was a time when we felt we could trust the media or our local branch manager and it seems that in the past there was not the competition there is now. Now everything is about getting the viewing numbers up, selling papers, getting more customers, all at the expense of integrity and the people they are there to serve.

  10. We have good reason not to trust what we see and hear in society, bizarrely due to mans inhumanity to man. Companies work really hard to make themselves look trustworthy but don’t seem to be prepared to commit to live that in living their policies and procedures, which results in those who work within them becoming disillusioned.

  11. It is a tragedy that when we see the corruption and lack of integrity in so many things in the world that it actually puts us off the few decent things that do exist. Really important to take everything on its own merits rather than let the bad apples make us give up on anything true existing in the world.

  12. I totally agree with you and the Dalai Lama that the proof is in the pudding so to speak and observation of someone and how they live tells the true story not just what they say or teach and eventually if what they say and how they live don’t match up it soon reveals itself.

  13. Taking time to look at the reflection being offered and getting a sense of the consistency between what is spoken and what is said is now a staple with any new project or group I come across. It is a great freedom to know you don’t ‘need’ any of them and that all you have ever needed was the connection to the love you come from, are made of and never leaves you.

  14. Observing organisations teaches us a great deal, because when we look through observing eyes we can see everything, and as soon as we put a judgment on something we become blinkered and don’t see the whole of what there is to see.

  15. Great advice, Anonymous, it is only by discerning for oneself what is correct can one know what is true or not, and this is particularly so when you trust another.

  16. Could the mistrust many experience come from their association with main stream religions. As what is presented and championed is not actually lived. Everyone can sense this and innately know the falseness, but are taught to ‘trust’ in them any way. To me this is a reality that lies underneath society, constantly feeding that to ‘trust’ is to deny what we all innately know. Hense, we mistrust, because we do know.

  17. Excellent advice, to study the teacher one is thinking of aligning to for ten years before making the commitment. Serge Benhayon passes the test with flying colours but what about the rest of the world? What about the media, the religions, the banks and the many other institutions we put our trust in?

  18. I became more aware recently about how I don’t trust. At first it seemed as though I didn’t trust anything but then I realised that I have been trusting that which is deeply unworthy of trust including all the instutions this article writes about. Then I realised that I wasn’t allowing myself to trust love. Reading this article I can so relate to trusting institutions before and above myself, which is simply trusting in evil as opposed to love. I have put other people’s blind trust in these institutions above and beyond my own. Universal Medicine and the Benhayons have supported me to reconnect again to my inner compass and inner knowing so that I can begin to trust what I know to be true once again.

    1. I think you have unlocked something in me with this comment. I have a very low trust level of those institutions, particularly the media and I guess others I have had personal experience of the corruption with, yet you have reminded me that we can build a relationship with love so we can be discerning and bring understanding, we are then more ‘free’ to make a choice. Live with love and be the change we want to see in the world.

  19. The relationship between observation and trust deserves to be studied. On the one hand, observation builds trust if and only if on the other side we see consistency, openness, transparency, reliability, etc. In other words, observation builds trust only if what was observed is so consistent in their movements and if there is a clear appraisal coming from the body that those movements can be trusted. On the other hand, though, observation helps to spot movement that cannot and should not be trusted. Thanks to it, we have the capacity to pay attention to what really matters and not be distracted by how things appear to be on the surface.

    1. Well said Eduardo. It is easy to be fooled by the movements on the outside if we don’t take time and allow space to observe the consistency, and the willingness to be open and transparent.

  20. It is interesting, I notice young children naturally observe first and then they decide if they can trust someone or not. Then, as we grow up we tend to not do this as much.

    1. Yes Chan, children do this as they naturally feel everything and can feel whether they can trust someone or not – feeling is a very simple process, feeling and discerning, that many of us lose later in life.

  21. Trust is one of the qualities that we all want to live with, but often find ourselves suspicious and unsure in our world today. This article throws out to the world a paradigm of true trust that is based on integrity, having a quality that one knows as themselves and never living less than that known.

  22. Great exposure of why so many have trust issues because of being let down by institutions we were brought up to place our trust in which over time have been demonstrated to be corrupt which is then also so often compounded by having further experiences of individuals being less than trustworthy. Observing Serge and all his family over many years has undoubtedly supported me to heal my trust issues as the consistency and integrity with which they approach everything is truly inspiring and confirms that trust is not only possible but deeply enriches our lives.

  23. It does seem as though more and more corruption and greed has been coming to the forefront, and with this does come the thoughts of ‘Who can we trust’?, (having received three PPI payments back from two banks in our household), so I have to agree the only people who have been a constant over the last 11 years has been Serge Benhayon and his family. This is huge, as who in our lives has that level of commitment, integrity with everything, and cares deeply for humanity, as has been shown to the world by the Benhayon family.

  24. A sound approach to anything I would say, see for yourself in place reading or looking at fleeting parts. A lot of people have said now for a long time that you ‘can’t trust the media’ or ‘it’s not worth the paper it’s written on’ and yet we don’t follow our own lead and still find ourselves being tagged into a sensationalised narrative or heading. I don’t recall how many times the real story has been no where near what I was first told. I am not one to jump in and will usually take my time to make any decision of where something sits. This article explains the value that is in that and that we shouldn’t be pushed or drawn into anything without first seeing it for ourselves.

  25. The media definitely enrich our society with freedom of expression but when a lack of integrity creeps into such a powerful body as the media, the ripple effect on society is so enormous it would be virtually impossible to measure the level and breadth of harm it causes.

    1. Yes, because it can plant seeds which can lie dormant for years. It is a great privilege to work in media and one we should consider part and parcel of the integrity with which we live our lives.

  26. I recently went through the toughest life event I ever had to face. My parents are dead also, and one of those deaths was a sudden intense unexpected ordeal, but not as big as my recent trauma. In all honesty there was only one man I could trust to talk with about what I was going through and that was Serge Benhayon. He was the person I could trust because of how he lived. He knows the big picture back to front (which helps to understand the smaller one) and brings this into his personal life and how to relate this back to the world. He is a Master of life with full commitment to his relationship with God and equally to all others he interacts with. Living this way provides him with all he needs.

  27. The Dalai Lama and Serge Benhayon have in common an unwavering love for human beings, seeing all as equal and they live this love. We often see loving others, including those who want to hurt us as an amazing choice, and yes I agree it’s a choice but it’s not willpower to love others, it’s a surrender to our being, to the essence of who we are. There is a solidness in this because Serge and the Dalai Lama know who they are (and who we all are) and they won’t live less than this.

  28. People want to believe in something – it makes them feel better about living in the functional and reduced world we are experiencing as life. I feel like the desperation of knowing that there is more to life but not understanding how to embrace that as a reality has lead to a lot of the spiritual new age stuff.

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