To honour another you need to love yourself

by Josh Campbell, Australia

I felt to say something very short and simple as a student of Universal Medicine. I do not wish to defend Serge Benhayon but rather just say what I feel others may need to hear and ponder on. Serge has shown me true love. Before I found UniMed I found life was a persistent struggle where nothing ever really made sense, not even so called ‘love’.

To me back then I found that ‘love’ was this word that never really meant anything consistent when you spoke to people. If you spoke to a religious person they would say that I need to love my family. If you spoke to a couple in ‘love’ they would say that they are ‘in love.’ But what does ‘in love’ mean when old couples become bitter with each other even though they say they are still ‘in love’? And how can one know how to love another when nobody had the capacity to love themselves?

Serge exposed to me this one fact; you are a Son of God. This means that to honour and love another you need to honour and love yourself. Simple. Through this process I have grown my own love in my day through feeling true joy in everything I do. Again Simple.

Serge is no doubt a reflection of true love. Is it not possible therefore that when there is so much misery and pain in the world today rather than true joy and love, having true love reflected back at us can make us react as we have allowed our lives to be defined by pain and misery?

160 thoughts on “To honour another you need to love yourself

  1. There are so many things we claim are loving, when in actual fact they are the complete opposite and absolute abuse. Many relationships are based on this, even with ourselves, a comfort companion rather than an evolution partner, for fear of being on our own. When in truth we are never alone, God is always with and within us supporting us to come back to our Soul and with that the Universal grandness of divinity we all come from.

  2. You bring in here a very important point Josh – everything in life we meet and have to face, what we may not like or like, we have to take the responsibility about it. But we created a lot of behaviors and substances which support us in being unaware of this simple fact: we are connected to all and responsible for everything that happens in this world – to us as for others. To blame the one who does reflect us this fact, just shows us it is very uncomfortable to face what’ve done, is cheap and will not bring us any further. But there is the possibility to connect back to the love we are and express it again. Why not give that a try?! I just learn even more to honor myself, appreciate who I truly am and what I am able to bring/offer to this world. To express these truths again makes life much more simple and there is so much support that it becomes easy as well. This is a joy of living. Very much worth a go.

  3. Absolutely Josh. I definitely am a work in progress when it comes to staying away from self-loathing and other low worth thoughts that I had invested in. The truth is as you say, I am a Son of God as we all are and so I have equal worth in this world as does everyone I meet no matter what they have invested in.

  4. Our own definitions and perceptions of what we all think being ‘in love is’ and what we feel the actual quality of love is can vary enormously.

  5. The fact that our world does have so much pain and misery shows how desperately a reflection of true lived love is needed in this world. I know from a personal level that pain and misery, and what the true reflection of love Serge Benhayon means, as this has inspired (and continues to inspire) great change in my life.

  6. Josh, from reading your blog today I will take the wisdom you share in this line,” I have grown my own love in my day through feeling true joy in everything I do”, into all that I do today.

  7. Thank you Josh, for what you are sharing is an important message for us all to be aware of. All that we could ever want to know about ‘true love’ is found or can be re-discovered in our relationship with ourselves. For within us all, is the wisdom of love we are searching for, as in essence we all are love first and foremost. When we begin to embrace exploring and living the love we are within we will then return the meaning of ‘true love’ to be ‘truly’ commonly known by humanity, as it should be.

  8. Serge Benhayon makes absolute sense to me with what he presents about love and that to love another you must first love yourself. I had been lost in the emotional version of love for many years always looking outside of me for love, never realising that I was missing having a deep connection to who I am and the love I now know within my inner heart.

  9. Love it Josh – like a question coming from a young child, innocent and constructed to bring light to a world in sleep. They see things with the purity in their eyes when our vision has become somewhat foggy.

  10. It’s interesting how we have defined love as being different for different people in our lives; family, friends, partners and that love is confined to this set of people. Is this actually love especially when no one talks about how we love ourselves? Serge Benhayon is the first person I know of that not only speaks of love as a way of living our whole life, every single aspect of it, that has to begin with ourselves. But it’s not only spoken, it comes from a body who lives every word that he shares. In a world of image and “do as I say and not as I do” Serge Benhayon stands out a million miles. The most amazing thing here is that what is presented everyone has the same capacity to live, no one is left out. It’s simply a matter of choice – a loving choice.

  11. Very definitely we can react to true love when we are shown it, as it shows us the misery we ourselves are often living in and in fact our choice to do so. It’s a gift though as it reminds us there is true love and that we are that always, it’s just about if we live it or not.

  12. If we admit there is someone reflecting true love to us then we have to admit that we have not been living that. It can be hard to accept that we’ve been choosing to harm not heal – hence the reaction and denial.

  13. Very pertinent points raised in this article. Could we as humans become comfortable in our lives as they are, even though they are not how we really want to live? Having another live a life we would dearly want for ourselves and feeling unable to have is the surest way to become jealous, and all of us know the absolute destruction of jealousy. Let’s each of us simply stop and consider that we can again take over the drivers seat in our life and begin to make our life the joy it is very possible to live.

  14. I fully support what you share here Josh! If we are indeed the Sons of God then it makes sense that we would need to Love ourselves first. There is no way we could Love God if this is not so. We come from Love (God) therefore this makes us Love also! Thank you Josh.

  15. I love the simplicity you share here Josh about such a big topic – love. It has been my experience also that unless I love myself and honour myself as an equal part of the universal whole, then any love I may profess to have for another is not as full as it could be.

  16. Ouch, and yes! For many years my life was defined by struggle and misery, even thought it may not have always been evident. But the truth was, I believed that without the struggle, it meant life wasn’t working, because you have to work hard and life has to be hard if you ever want any rewards.
    Wow – aren’t I glad I changed my attitude and I’m even more glad that I allowed the reflection of Serge Benhayon to help me realise that the ‘struggle’ I was living and creating was a complete and utter waste of time.

  17. True love which is loving ourselves first and foremost, is not understood and therefore missing in most peoples lives, it is not until we are met with this amazing love and felt the power of a life lived in joy harmony and a loving equality for all, that we can feel the love we have longed for has been deep with in us all along. By reflecting this love as Serge has many many lives have been changed to now know and live their own true love.

  18. Thank you Josh, it is clear that if we ignore the fact that we are The Son of God first and then create a life out of being less, miserable and defeated, then that is the reflection we will receive to show us what we are choosing – it’s perfect otherwise we will never find our way out of our pictures of what life is supposed to be like, and then settle for the better life we forge for ourselves.

  19. Understanding that we can offer ourselves a deep love from with-in is a choice, a different choice to what is seemingly presented in our lives. Serge Benhayon is the exception to the rule living what is natural and true – even if perhaps not considered normal. But when taking in what is normal through out humanity: the pain and suffering that is so inescapable, it is time we reconsidered what we accept as normal.

  20. When we see the reflection of true love in others and the world around us it can sometimes make us very uncomfortable as it exposes how unloving we actually are and/or have been and can be felt as a real full on ouch.

    1. Yes Suse, but it’s crazy that Love can make us uncomfortable – because essentially, that is who we are. So yes, it exposes the current model of life that we have running that is majorly loveless, but when met with true love, we are given the space to feel the depth we can actually live that for ourselves.

      1. Yes crazy! How can love make us feel uncomfortable! It is who we are, where we come from and what we are made of…we are uncomfortable about being reminded that we have forgotten our very foundation and work very hard to not live that awareness even though it is constantly calling us back.

  21. Serge Benhayon offers an inspiration to humanity of the true meaning of love and the fact that we are, each and every one of us, love and offers a way of living to rediscover our Divine love.

  22. Developing love for oneself and moving in that quality is not just beautiful in itself, something that is very en-joy-able, but also very healing and very inspiring to others to follow through, if what they feel inspires them to follow through.

  23. It was the main thing for me to change everything to how I was living was knowing I am a Son of God with a wayward spirit running what it reinterprets as living love but obviously it is not when you feel true love.

  24. It is important to understand that when people live a life of pain and misery due largely to the unloving and disregarding choices they have made, it is common for them to react in the face of being presented with love… for the exposure shines a light on the way they have moved through life and often this is too much for people to bare.

  25. Great question, Joshua, one which I feel is rhetorical. Also those who do react it is because to acknowledge this truth means they would have look at what part they have played in creating the pain and misery, and that they are not willing to take the responsibility for

  26. Love is not about tolerance or putting up with each other. Love is not even about acceptance and learning to live with each other’s differences. Love is a quality we first live with ourselves, and once we know it, we then can recognise that is indeed within everyone as a presence and livingness. Thus, we can share this quality but never truly give or receive it.

  27. Love is a short four lettered word and yet it holds a great power, when we love ourselves first there is an openness with all, a transparency that can be trusted and shared equally, with no judgment or comparison, simply allowing another to be all that they are.

  28. Well expressed Joshua. I was drawn to read your blog again to understand a different perspective to loving yourself. I got it thank you.
    If we are a Son of God and all that entails which is a lot of love. How do we have all that love a part of us when it is not felt and honoured? There in lies the answer.. my perception of love has been outside of my body and therefore I am in truth not a part of it. It has always been something to accomplish, an image to be upheld, a box to tick, recognition and attention, but it is not completely to love, feel and be aware of my body that houses my love. This is first and foremost before I endeavour to satisfy any ideal or belief in my mind.

  29. Definitely there is no need to defend Serge Benhayon. Everything that Serge does and says is based on truth and truth does not need defending but it does need to be stood up for. We have all become used to living in a world without truth and keeping our heads down to avoid being attacked, but this simply maintains having a world without truth.

  30. That’s the thing Josh, we’ve gotten so used to what our version of love is that when we’re presented with true love it jars. I know when I first met Serge Benhayon, I knew what he presented was true yet it jarred with me as I got to feel and see how I’d now been truly living in a way that loved and honoured myself. And the most amazing thing for me was being met by someone (Serge) who had no judgement on me as to what I chose, but reflected consistently to me, that I was love and I deserved to be treated in this way, and slowly over time I came to understand that love starts with me and I began to make more loving choices for me and of course then I was so much more able to love others.

  31. Through Serge Benhayon I understood what love truly is and how I can explore the depth of it. And whilst his presentations are brilliant and definitely helped me in the process, his livingness – the fact that he lives, talks, walks and breathes love is what made it sink into my body and bring about a deep knowing of what it can be.

  32. We choose to make life a game of misery and existence, so much less than it should and can be. So when someone comes along and exposes this and exposes that we have chosen to accept a lesser version of love which is not love of course we don’t like it. We become concerned that our irresponsibility will be exposed and that we may have to start taking true responsibility and live our truth as the rug of a lie we have been living is pulled out from under our feet.

  33. I very much like how this article exposes what we say is love, very often is far from the true meaning of this word. As Josh shares, when love is chosen for ourselves it is absolutely natural share it with another.

  34. ‘To honour and love another you need to honour and love yourself. Simple’ beautifully said and oh so true Josh.

  35. Re-connecting to the love with-in also means being willing to reflect what I’m living. To honour this love that is with-in us all equally, also means to not pull back when this reflection feels uncomfortable for others.

  36. When we are reflected love, true love we can either embrace this or consider that maybe just maybe we are this love too, and as we allow ourselves to feel this we learn to live the love we are in the world, all we need to do is give ourselves the space.

  37. All of us have tried many ways to try to make life work for us. Although they brought us to this point, the moment you become aware of the much more that awaits you and how it feels in the body to be held by it, you know the way and you know that it is not just another one.

  38. When the word love is full of its essence, there’s no doubt that it is what it really means. This is the reflection Serge is offering to us and with it, the opportunity of honouring its true meaning in our lives too.

  39. You have hit on something here Joshua, the reflection we get back the majority of the time in life is one of struggle and pain. A movie, chocolate box, advertisers version of love but not the foundational respect, decency, honesty, commitment and simplicity that is true love. Serge Benhayon shared how he lives in the most simple way with me too, many years ago, and it left a lasting impression because it actually asked nothing of me but offered me the opportunity to deepen the depth of love in my relationship with myself and therefore all others. That is a seed I have nurtured and now see love as an incredible strength with no complication but simplicity and strength.

  40. “Serge exposed to me this one fact; you are a Son of God. This means that to honour and love another you need to honour and love yourself. Simple. Through this process I have grown my own love in my day through feeling true joy in everything I do. Again Simple.” Beautifully expressed Joshua – growing ones love in everything one does in everyday deepens that connection to the truth that we are a Son of God, in fact we are a God playing not to be a God.

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