All my life I have been scared of writing

By Monika Rietveld, The Netherlands

All my life I have been scared of writing, but what is happening now in the media helps me to break my pattern of “keeping my mouth shut”. The lies and accusations about Universal Medicine and Serge Benhayon are so outrageous that I want to speak up and tell the truth since they are also about me and my way of living! It is also a great opportunity to take stock of all the changes in my life since UNIMED.

My life has changed so much for the good since I became a student of Universal Medicine and of my own inner-heart:

  • I feel joy and up to what the day will bring me, instead of waking up tired.
  • I feel fit, where I used to be sick a lot and not feel vital.
  • I have much more body awareness, which helps me to make self-loving choices, instead of my former disregarding behaviour towards myself.
  • I get feedback from others that I have become much easier to be with because I am less controlling and accept more, who they are, what they may choose.
  • I am connected to myself, and my inner-heart and that makes a real difference when connecting to other people. The feedback I have been getting from friends, clients and colleagues is they feel met in their contact with me.
  • I feel more a stillness in me and this helps me to make choices, whereas before I would be racy and anxious every day.
  • Remarkably, I can also be alone for the first time in my life and enjoy it, enjoy being with me, instead of being dependent on whether others would have time to spend with me.
  • I don’t go into reaction so often anymore.
  • I am honest with myself now, and what I am feeling. From here I can take responsibility for my actions, instead of blaming others, like I used to do.
  • Working everyday has become so much fun!! I can see I make a difference for my clients and for the other people that work in the same company. Previously, a 5 day working week would be far too much, but now I can do this easily with my rhythm of going to bed in time, getting up on time and taking really good care of myself with the food that I eat.
  • Just yesterday, a new colleague said I inspired her to do the same, with my good care of myself with my food and going for a walk every lunch break.

132 thoughts on “All my life I have been scared of writing

  1. A great sharing Monika, my life has also changed completely since I became a student of Universal Medicine and connecting to my inner heart. Since then I have learnt how damaging it is to hold ourselves back and that this behaviour affects everyone around us. In building a connection and presence with myself, feeling more confident and being open and honest with how I am feeling increases the impulse to express more and I feel the joy within me when I do which has a ripple effect on everyone around me.

  2. Such an important point you make here about holding back and the damaging effects. I can actually feel it in my body if I hold back and not express. Like it stagnates inside, which has the effect I cannot connect to myself nor to another. And always it is me choosing comfort when choosing to hold back.

    1. There a big ouch in your last sentence Monika
      “And always it is me choosing comfort when choosing to hold back.”
      This is a great reminder going forward into my day – thanks.

  3. Monika, this is a beautiful confirming blog. It gave me a minute to stop and appreciate all the ways my life has improved since I starting Universal Medicine. We really are incredible examples of how life could be lived.

    1. Beautifully expressed Kimweston2: we are indeed magical examples of how life can be lived. And appreciating ourselves for who we are, what we bring and the choices we have made is crucial. With celebrating and confirming ourselves, the love we are and feel for others we lay a solid foundation to build further on. Appreciation cannot be skipped if we want to keep growing.

      1. Monika, There’s that word again appreciation and how it cannot be skipped if we want to keep growing. We don’t seem as a race of human beings to be able to appreciate ourselves it’s almost not in our vocabulary. For me starts with parents appreciating their children as the gorgeous beautiful little people they are, and not for the fact that they can tie up their shoes laces or spell a word correctly.

      2. Parents appreciating a child for who it is is a perfect foundation for it to stay the lovely bundle of love it is. Writing how much has changed and how far we have come is also a form appreciating that we can do ourselves as grownups.

      3. As powerful, if not more so, would be a parent who self appreciates and openly loves themselves in the way they live, as children learn from what they observe.

      4. Great comment you have made
        “Appreciation cannot be skipped if we want to keep growing.”
        I feel this is where we fall down by not appreciating ourselves and what we do and bring, we just get on with life and don’t stop to appreciate just how far we have all come. Thanks solely to the work of Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine.

  4. Thank you Monika, this is a great blog, I can personally relate to what you have shared in my own life also. I am daily much more vital, joyful, fun to be with, all of my relationships have improved, as have my eating and sleeping patterns. All of this comes from my own awareness of myself and my body and putting love first.

    1. I love the simplicity you offer here by bringing it back to the awareness of ourselves and our body and putting love first. Taking responsibility for every choice I make and realizing this influences everybody, still supports the changes I make in how I live my life.

  5. Any one of changes that you have chosen for yourself since becoming a student of Universal Medicine is amazing but together they are truly remarkable. It is awesome that you have chosen to speak up in appreciation of Universal Medicine and express the beauty this has brought to your life… as it is an incredible counter to the lies being spread and a powerful glimpse into why people stand up against them.

    1. I realize more and more the importance of not staying silent, but speaking up. By not saying anything I am allowing the lies, the accusations and complete crazy made up stories that are shared on internet about Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine to have a place in this world. My life hasn’t stopped changing for the good since I wrote this blog and it is so worth sharing with the world how your life can be, that there is another way that is worth choosing.

  6. Thank you for your great blog Monika – Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine have certainly made me see that I was living life from such a distorted perspective – now my lens has been cleared a little and my awareness is claimed and not dulled down as much, life becomes so much more, it’s about all of us and I like that.

  7. Thanks Monika – there are certainly many people who agree with what you have written. To me this shows that we are all working towards the same end goal of being love in our bodies and allowing that to flow on through us and out to everyone and everything around us. This is how we are all meant to be living and it is the vital key to bringing more harmony and truth into this world – which is obviously something that is sorely needed.

  8. Thank you Monica for not holding back, Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine have definitely given me a great deal to ponder on, and take responsibility for. In taking responsibility my life has greatly changed, I am now more confident and far more loving towards myself and with others.

  9. Thank you Monika, for breaking your silence and speaking up, choosing to express your truth will not only support you but will also inspire confidence in others who also may be shy about speaking up.

  10. I have learnt far more from Universal Medicine and Serge Benhayon about how life is set up. I have a whole tool box of ways to look after myself when I feel nervous, stressed, overwhelmed or generally out of sync with my body and my health has improved. If schools were to teach us these things, it would be there everyday, because there is always something new to learn or to go deeper with.

  11. I have now known the Benhayon family for around 9 years, and none have held back sharing their wisdom. They individually and collectively as a family are most inspiring, genuinely loving and they all have a beautiful relationship with themselves. This is not only inspiring, it shows how we are able to change our own lives through our own self connection.

  12. Thank you Monika for overcoming your fear of writing and speaking up, we have a lot to appreciate for the choices we now make to live more responsible and loving lives, because of choosing to attend Serge Benhayon’s amazing presentations and workshops and how inspired by his way of living we all are.

  13. I can endorse these same changes in my own life Monika. Truth is always worth speaking up and always remains as truth even when misrepresented otherwise.

  14. Monika I too could write exactly what you say – my life has changed so much as the result of bringing what I have learned from Serge Benhayon into my everyday living. Simple but profound changes that support me to be all that I am in the world.

  15. Writing has always been a barrier as I have never felt to express for fear of being wrong. Now as the years have passed since being a Student of the Livingness my expression has become fluid, my writing I realise is my expression and can never be wrong, it’s how I express, and I can say now I enjoy exploring the writing that comes to me, all the anxiety, fear and dread has gone.

  16. Monica my life looks different now, but the change I appreciate the most is my relationship with me, and the honouring of my inner Wisdom and Self Loving connection, this has been magnificent. So not only does it look different on the outside it’s completely returned me to my natural essence and inner self.

  17. The difference in your life and my life is very beautiful. Thank you for speaking out Monica. It is often tempting to hide our light when we are under attack but so important that we all speak the truth.

    1. Very true Amanda. I am guilty of wanting to hide when I feel ‘danger’ heading toward me, but actually, when the truth is there to be exposed, it protects you more than any hiding could do.

  18. There is enough untruths being told and believed in the world. Thank you Monika for speaking up and sharing all you have to appreciate with what you have changed and healed in your life and how Universal Medicine has very much supported these changes.

  19. We all have so much wisdom to share… not educational knowledge but lived experiences. Imagine if we shared this with each other, instead of the conversations we can often have that keep the lies going.

  20. Beautiful in its simplicity Monika. Thank you for choosing to speak out. As a young man I felt it was always better to keep quiet – ‘be seen and not heard’ kind of thing. Today, I am much more self-expressed and connected to the power within. Today I feel this is one of the main reasons we are here in life – to express who we are and the love we are from.

  21. Hi Monika, I see that this blog was written some 4 years ago so it is not up to date with the powerful, beautiful, expressive woman you are today! Expression certainly does start the ball of evolution rolling. You are the proof ‘in the pudding’.

  22. As part of the Universal Medicine student body one thing I find very joyful is seeing the other students blossom. Each month at events I notice others are experiencing more changes, making new loving choices and learning how to live more deeply from the love and truth within. It’s just beautiful to see people becoming healthier, more at ease with themselves, and literally shining out the light of their essence from within. Then, once their lives are sorted, they can begin to make a bigger positive impact in their community. Everyone wins – this is how life is meant to be, filled with joy and love, vitality and purpose, and not for one but equally for all.

  23. Awesome Monika. I wonder how you are doing now, a few years later. Would be great to read a follow up story, however that looks.

  24. Monika, I had to smile when I did read your list of changes. You turned your life around in nearly every way and there is this one point of “I don’t go into reaction so often anymore” we stumble with a total turn. I know that from my own…and others 🙂 To react to others is a thing we all do more or less. I love to become more and more aware of when and how I do so and observe what is going on. I learned to have a deeper investigation into what caused my reactions and found: it is always something to learn in this. So my reactions offer me a learning. Not that they would be necessary if I would learn it freely – but the reaction shows me what I’ve still to discover, that there is more in me to let out and to live. More understanding, more love, more honesty, more truth. It is all there – just that I’ve to learn to let it out. Others are here to support me on my way and so they do. Great is the human who sees the blessing and chance we are for each other.

  25. Inspiring words Monika – “The lies and accusations about Universal Medicine and Serge Benhayon are so outrageous that I want to speak up and tell the truth since they are also about me and my way of living! It is also a great opportunity to take stock of all the changes in my life since UNIMED.” Thank you I too am one that finds it hard to speak out, yet these lies are so outrageous the truth has to be told.
    I too have changed my life enormously since meeting Serge Benhayon. What he shares is the truth that lies within us all, but for me like most it was pretty dormant, and even when known it was rarely acted on until I felt the power of Truth through him.

  26. Cool Monika, how simple things can matter a lot. Just like writing about how we have grown and the appreciation of how we have grown and who has supported us with that. It is incredible to feel that we are able to express and not hold back , and the blogs on this website encourage more of that. We must not be affraid of our own writing, which is our own power and authority to be simply ourselves.

  27. That’s the beautiful thing Monika, when we make changes to our lives it inspires others to do the same. But, as we have all walked a different path to get where we are today sometimes the changes that are correct and logical for you make no sense to another. We just have to accept that we all live in a world that is based on free will which means we have freedom to choose…being accountable for our own pathway for wherever it leads us is yet another layer to that.

  28. I too have steered clear of writing for most of my life. Since being inspired by people like you Monika, I feel much more confident to get it all down on paper – and it’s not even hard, it’s actually really easy.
    I love how much you are inspiring people wherever you go!

  29. I love that you are speaking up Monika as your gorgeousness and wisdom deserves to be shared with us all. I also love how you said that you are ‘a student of Universal Medicine and of my own inner-heart’ – for this is in essence what universal Medicine is all about. Returning to let our love within be the guide for all that we do in our lives, and the basis of all our relationships, a quality that our world is clearly in dire need of today. Thank you for ‘bringing it’ and sharing points of what should be what we call our normal way of being and living together.

  30. The more that we express, the more we inspire others to also express. We all have something to bring and to offer, so every expression is valuable, like gold. When we don’t express, we all miss out. Super lovely to read your blog Monika.

  31. I loved reading what you have shared Monika I feel inspired to take stock of all the changes that me and my body has gone through in the last four years of being a student of The Way of the Livingness there is so much to appreciate and express.

  32. The changes you have described as a result of being inspired by Universal Medicine are such common-sense that it boggles my mind anyone would or could have a problem with them. There are so many people who are only just getting through the day, who I have no doubt would love to feel more full of life and vital. It is through the inspiration and reflection of others making these loving choices that we realise that we too have a choice.

  33. I am appreciating more and more that in making those simple loving changes in the details of how we care for ourselves like going to bed earlier make the most profound differences in our day to day lives.

  34. Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine have inspired and supported me in rediscovering a love of life and the true meaning of love.

  35. As Unimed students, we have to be aware of the fact that it was necessary a brutal attack based on falseness of something we hold very dear, for us to leave behind the shell where we were living comfortably for so long and have our voice heard so truth could be restored.

  36. Although it is a crime that so many have been basically forced to their feet to stand for truth in the face of such an attempt to destroy it, it is gorgeous to see so many united in not allowing the lies to dominate the minds of those who get fooled by words.

  37. I was very irresponsible before UniMed a root ill behavior of mine. Now it’s a full commitment to the best of my ability towards work and all aspects of life. Just this last 2 weeks I have never ever worked so hard. I feel the best I have in my body. There are endless opportunities to being responsible.

  38. Monika, these words particularly stood out for me today ‘Remarkably, I can also be alone for the first time in my life and enjoy it, enjoy being with me, instead of being dependent on whether others would have time to spend with me.’ I find that there are many people who don’t like being in their own company, and turn the radio or tv on in order not to feel alone, yet they are actually distracting themselves from having a beautiful relationship with themselves, the one thing most of us yearn for is a simple choice, to reconnect back to ourselves.

  39. It is quite understandable for us to be terrified of writing and expressing the truth, because the world does not stand up and applaud. On the contrary it is more likely to react and attack you and maybe even crucify you metaphorically speaking. Any utterance of truth is very powerful as it exposes mankind in its deliberate choice to knowingly live a lie.

  40. Simple Monika! This is so awesome. And one point you forgot to mention was that you are so much more at ease with yourself and enjoy yourself so much that you no longer have time or the need to be scared of writing…and you do it so well too!!

  41. Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine offer a life-style that allows us to live a very harmonious and love-filled life, which is far from what is our reality in this world today. We might be so far away from it, that some cannot even conceive that this kind of life-style is possible and have to make it into something abnormal, creating a witch hunt in order to not have to deal with the huge discrepancy between the life they live and what is possible.

  42. There are some significant changes documented in this article which I can relate to. I can also relate to having a block around writing. Like anything the only way through this block is to make steps and then appreciate that part. It’s always great to see people sharing their voice like this and it certainly inspires others to do the same as this article also highlights. We are being shown that if we truly want to support others then it is through the actions of words and not words alone that pulls people up. There is no use standing on the sidelines and making comments, we need to be on the field making the changes ourselves and do this ongoingly. People are more inspired through action and this doesn’t mean we need do everything but more lead what you are seeing by example, not perfection but a true example.

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