I was searching for the true meaning of love

by Julie Goodhart

Since I was a teenager, I was on an endless search for the true meaning of love. What did it truly mean to love myself and love others? Of all the books and articles I read or the advice/musings of others I received, none of it really felt true or made much sense. There was always something missing. In fact, this feeling that there is something not quite right, something missing in the world in general has been with me for as long as I can remember. As we all have probably done, I searched for the meaning of life. Why am I here on this planet in this body anyway? What is my purpose? Oh, and there’s a crap-load of stuff written on this topic out there! You can find any answer to this question you want if you look far enough.

So when my husband started reading to me excerpts from “The Way It Is” which he borrowed from a friend, I often felt “Yes, that’s right! This is the truth!” I could feel in my body the truth of the words even though it was so challenging to hear at times. I knew it so strongly that I couldn’t not know it or not see it, no matter what anyone else said or did around me. It feels like a blessing every day to have this knowingness inside.

Lest it sounds so easy for me, of course it’s not. I am challenged every day to be with me, to live gently, to express my truth. But at least now I know when I am not with myself and know when I’m not making loving choices. One of the most challenging lessons I’m still learning each and every day is what true love really means. That I cannot love – truly love – another person (even my closest loves like my husband and daughter!), if I don’t truly love my self first. That true love is to love equally every human being on the planet. That humanity comes first and in so doing, we include ourselves in the endless well of love that we hold. That the way to start loving your self is to first connect with your body, to feel what’s there to feel, to not run away from who we truly are.

There are many other things I’ve learned and am still learning; A few of them are to:

1. Not take myself too seriously; to laugh, be light
2. Trust myself
3. Honour every single person
4. See the beauty in everyone
5. Be gentle always
6. Not rush and slow down, to take the time I need,
7. Plan my life so that I don’t need to rush in the first place
8. Not take abuse of any kind from anyone
9. Honour and cherish my body by being loving about everything I put in it and everything I do with it
10. Allow myself to develop in my own time, on my own path, regardless of where others are at
11. Let others be, knowing that they are on their own path
12. Be willing to be totally honest with myself about where I’m at; and to lovingly accept me for me
13. Feel love, joy, harmony, stillness and truth in myself instead of seeking it outside of me, through things, experiences, other people.

96 thoughts on “I was searching for the true meaning of love

  1. I can feel the truth of what you share here Julie, having spent much time in the past looking for the meaning of Life and Love. I can only say that until I connected to the teachings of the Ancient Wisdom presented by Serge Benhayon I was completely lost. Thank you for a lovely sharing.

  2. I love the fact that truth never leaves us neither does the ability to discern what is true. At times we slip from truth a little too much and then it can be hard to accept truth when it is presented because we might feel exposed and maybe ashamed for leaving it in the first place but none of that is needed. We can just accept that it is what it is and slowly give ourselves the time to return to what is true again. The books by Serge Benhayon are great markers of what is true, I remember reading the first two book almost in one go. I was so fascinated by the truth of what was being presented. Like finding a long lost treasure.

    1. As I look in the mirror this morning I see my own gorgeousness and appreciate myself as part of that lost treasure, something which to this degree has been quite a work in progress.

  3. “The way to start loving yourself is to first connect with your body, to feel what’s there to feel, to not run away from who we truly are.” Well said Julie, this is the key to reconnecting back to our self-worth and the love we naturally hold within.

  4. This is a great list Julie. I love it. A ‘to be’ list rather than a ‘to do’ list. No more seeking for love outside of us with this list held dear.We are all in fact on the same path back to love just some of us take longer and get more distracted than others.

    1. Naming it a ‘to be’ list makes the activities so much more accessible and less pressured – love it.

  5. Just what I needed to read this morning Julie, thank you. I have no doubt at all that the source of Love is within us all and seeking it outside is futile. It has to come from within and we are called to be Love in life and not live in search of it. When I accepted this fact, my life changed completely and with it all of my relationships too.

  6. What a list Julie and the first one was great to read today ‘1. Not take myself too seriously; to laugh, be light.’This is such an important one for me as joy is naturally there when I love myself and everyone but sometimes I get caught in the seriousness of life, other people and start to adjust to the serious mood a lot of people are in on a daily basis. So thank you for the reminder to let my joy come out consistently and just be me.

  7. To hear truth, true truth, is like coming home, as it is something we deep down know to be ours and our body confirms it with it’s every cell.

  8. Love this list Julie. Loving myself and being light with myself when I fall short of any self or externally imposed standards are two items from your list that especially have changed my life. In fact self expectations are extremely unsupportive and self judgment inevitably leads to judging others, so it is important to not take oneself seriously.

  9. Such a wonderful list of reminders Julie, one I shall refer back to I imagine. And yet they are simple, and feel lovely to read through, honouring of oneself and all others along the way. As you say, that is the way, and to include loving ourselves too equally so. Letting people into an ever growing circle of love that holds all within it – as we connect with others more and more..

  10. Julie I love this sharing of what you have learned and are still learning for when we share such wise tips we make it easier for others to do the same.

  11. That’s the funny thing about love, the more we look for it outside of ourselves the less likely we are to realise that its key source comes from within.

  12. I often had felt that there was something wrong with me, as I always sensed that there was a love that was missing in the way the world was living. I constantly wished and longed for the world, and how we are between us, to be different but could never find a way that living this love that I sensed, was possible. And in truth how can love be lived in the world if we do not live this love for ourselves first. Through the Ageless Wisdom Teaching as presented today by Universal Medicine I now know what I sensed was true. There is a love that can be lived, one that encompasses us all, and this love is already within us all. What you say here is so true for me also – ‘It feels like a blessing every day to have this knowingness inside.’ – as it is from here that the way of love can be truly lived for ourselves first through which this can then be magnified through the lives we live.

    1. It is so true what you say, Carola, that unless we first live love in ourselves it cannot be lived in the world and I did not truly understood this until meeting Serge Benhayon.

  13. That’s a big list you have and I do agree about the book ‘The Way It Is’, a book that keeps on giving, http://www.unimedliving.com/books-ebooks/unimed-publishing-books/what-readers-say/the-way-it-is-a-truly-educational-book.html No matter how many times I read it or go to it there is always more. I was having trouble making sense of the world and how I was in it. This book straightened out some of the corners for me and I still keep it handy even after reading it for the first time some 7 years ago.

  14. I think there are lots of things that makes us puzzled in life. Everything we see around us doesn’t make sense because it’s not made up for us to know who we truly are. We are also missing being ourselves in full because we live a version of us but not the full one. We live the light version but we need to live the FULL one to get the FULL experience of life. Note to self there

  15. I work in an area that most people would deem as being very sad and depressing. But every time I see a client and their family we laugh together, we have deeply connecting conversations and we simply enjoy each other’s company. To me this is love in action.

    1. Love what you expressed Jennifer when we are deeply connected to our own love within we cannot help but share that love and joy with all others we deal with during our day. On a heart to heart level we are all connected by our love, as one.

  16. A truly stunning list of lessons to learn and principles to live by, each one founded in deep love for self or others or in appreciation for the beauty of life. Love it.

  17. When we are in the search of something significant related to life, we discover that our body is a radar for truth and false and that most of what is out there is plainly false. This is a great discovery in itself.

  18. “true love is to love equally every human being on the planet” and that includes loving yourself equally with with the all.

  19. “Be willing to be totally honest with myself about where I’m at; and to lovingly accept me for me.” What a huge on-going learning I find this to be.

  20. In my life I explored many avenues as to the meaning of life but they all eventually left me feeling lacking and that they did not have the answer. From the outset of meeting Serge Benhayon and what he presented resonated with the feeling that this could be ‘it’. Over the eleven years since first meeting him this has proven to be the case BUT not because he presents the answers. Instead it is because the foundation of what he presents is that I, and everyone else, has to discern for themselves what is true or not and not to just blindly accept what he, or anyone else, presents as the answer.

  21. The list that you provide, Julie, is very life supporting and enhancing and the point that stands out for me today is number 13, “Feel love, joy, harmony, stillness and truth in myself instead of seeking it outside of me, through things, experiences, other people.” Embodying this is a foundation that is so empowering.

  22. The truth is in our body. The trouble is when a hurt is raised the truth becomes scrambled and not clear, the reaction is evident. So, how do you claim the truth in this state? I distinguish when I’m hurting and when I’m not – that’s my truth and way out. This can be a consistent process until change is felt.

  23. Love is found within first before before we can express it – and true love is for all equally so and not just reserved for a select few – even though it might suit us to think and act that way.

  24. Great blog Julie, I think we have all asked the question of ‘what is the meaning of life’. We either work it out by reconnecting back to the love we truly are, as we all have the answer within ourselves, or we bury ourselves in everything that numbs us from what we truly feel through food, drugs, alcohol, tv, anything that distracts us from being who we truly are.

  25. Once we all wake up to the fact that the purpose of life is to deepen our love for ourselves and others equally everyday, the world we have created will transform right before our eyes.

  26. This is possible the biggest thing for me and for us to consistently see, whatever you are seeing the world is needing or lacking, bring that to yourself consistently on a deeper and deeper level. In other words we walk our talk. As a child growing up and now as an adult nothing touches you or stands out more then a person who is able to hold themselves in what they are talking to you about. As the article highlights if you see the world needs more love then bring this love in how you are. Meaning how you are with yourself is how you are with everything, we need to live truly what ever it is we see the world is missing. For me this makes more and more sense everyday after all how can you truly show someone something that you first don’t know yourself?

  27. We genuinely want love, but when we are sold images of love and buy into them we end up looking in the wrong places and often go after what is actually not love, and wonder why we remain feeling unfulfilled. Universal Medicine has helped me enormously understand what true love is, and what I am learning is it is about returning to being who we are in truth and allowing that essence to just be and be externalized, and that is a continuous process of unfolding.

  28. There are some tensions based on something that comes from a deep place within us and that we register that just do not go away easily. We may try hard to ignore it, to bury it. We may also try to deal with it through different means. If these are not true, the tension will not dissolve. At most, we may get a relief. If this is the case, we will have to make up the mind: is this all we can get or not? Some people settle for that which they know is not true but seems to help them not to feel the tension. Others may continue their journey. The search could an endless one or they may meet Serge Benhayon and feel the magic of alchemy.

    1. I can relate to the not wanting to feel the tension and working hard to ignore it. When I met Serge Benhayon, he gave me a reflection of what it is to be completely at ease in the body, a reflection I had rarely seen in my life and never with the consistency I saw in Serge. Building a way of living that develops that ease in our own skin has to be the greatest form of medicine at our disposal.

  29. I thought love was mushy and soft, yet the more I live the love that I now know I am and I am from, the more committed to life, to others and to work I am. I have far more responsibility and embrace that responsibility. Sometimes love is so direct it challenges what I have been taking as normal. Love is not always the easiest route but it is always the simplest.

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