by Michelle McWaters
Like many of the esoteric students who have responded to the media allegations of Universal Medicine I also feel to share how Serge‘s presentations have inspired me. The result has been a different approach to life which is much more even tempered, more reflective, less emotional and much more honest. I have been doing Serge’s workshops for about 6 years and it has changed utterly how I feel about myself, how I interact with others and view relationships, and view the world. As a child and young adult I was very hurt and overwhelmed by the lovelessness around me at home and in society. I couldn’t give a name to it or articulate it, but it was there nonetheless. Because I couldn’t give a name to it and because it seemed that I was the only one feeling it I thought that it must be me that was out of line with everyone else and that there was something very wrong with me. I turned it in on myself. I wasn’t one to turn to drugs and alcohol although I did smoke – I was a bit more sophisticated than that – over the years I buried it under layers and layers of beliefs and ideals about who I was, what I expected of myself and what others expected of me. I became quite an expert at it, so much so that by the time I hit my early thirties I had convinced myself that I was really ok and had it all sussed out. I had a job I thoroughly enjoyed, a lovely house, and many gorgeous friends.
When I began at Universal Medicine I was quite proud of my fiercely independent attitude and super efficiency as this is how I wanted to see myself and for others to see me. What I wasn’t consciously aware of was that there was a huge arrogance in this and that the independence and efficiency were contained in a brittle hardness – all of this to cover up how small and crushed I had felt by the world. I hadn’t wanted to feel small and useless so had accepted that this was just the way the world was and had settled in the comfort of what I had created around me forgetting what was underneath it all. In so doing all of this I lost touch with the real essence inside me and slowly, slowly I have been rediscovering a beautiful innate tenderness and gentleness and slowly, slowly beginning to claim it and express it … not always as I forget to sometimes, but when I find myself not being love and being emotional it feels horrible and so I am reminded to come back to who I am and to keep making loving choices in my day to day living.
It has taken me many years of building self-love and with the support from Serge, other Universal Medicine practitioners and other esoteric students, I healed many hurts. The commitment to get to the truth has been mine. Ultimately I have taken the responsibility for the choices I made in the past and make in the present. This has been completely empowering as I have let go of the idea that I am a victim in a loveless world that I can’t relate to or that doesn’t understand me.
Without perfection I can now observe my emotions when I have them rather than get overwhelmed by them. This is true for the emotions of others too as I am much less likely to take them on. Yes I am still caught out sometimes, but when I find that I have reacted rather than responded I can catch it and ask myself why I took it on. Normally I find that there is something in me that is unresolved and I take the time to reflect on it and nominate it. Once this has been done the emotion is cleared and then I can work on the hurt that allowed it in the first place. Ultimately this is what taking responsibility for your choices means.
In taking the time to do this for myself I have been far less judgmental of myself and therefore of others too. I am far less imposing and controlling. Not only has Universal Medicine had a positive impact on me, but in turn it has had a positive impact on all those I encounter on a day to day level.
I have nothing but love and appreciation for Serge and what he is presenting. Serge and his family continue to inspire me and through showing me what is possible and what love really is and means I will continue to make the choices that peel away the layers of protection, to deepen the connection to myself and to keep discovering and expressing the enormous depth of love that I too hold inside me.